Evangelical History
by Suekeiichi Kaiton
Summary: Newly revised! Keeping all the previous chapters up but with the beginning of a new rewrite. Please don't blame me for rewriting again...
1. Chapter One

---Author's Notes 2/3/03---  
  
I decided to revise this story completely as I wrote myself into a corner the last time. There are only a few minor changes in grammar and a few new sentences added or changed. The thoughts have also been rewritten without the '[ ]' marks. Well, please enjoy this new version of Evangelical History.  
  
---Title---  
  
Evangelical History - Chapter 1  
A Ranma 1/2 - Evangelion Fusion  
By Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton  
  
---Antarctica, 2000 AD---  
  
White. A field of blinding purity. Snow blanketed everything in sight. Gently sloping dunes melted into the scenery of Earth's last undiscovered country...Antarctica. The bleak white wasteland provided no comfort from its harsh elements but merely embraced one with cold, slow, numbing death. The plateau stretched on into infinity, white melding with white, unbroken in the harsh silence except for one gray blemish on the surface of that alien terrain. The wind began to rise, an inhuman howl that brushed against the alien structure, rattling the durasteel walls and eliciting shivers from the technicians walking along the perimeter.  
  
Grayish-white, with antiseptically clean corridors and labs, this was the proving ground for the Katsuragi Expedition. Composed of nine-inch thick durasteel plates with a foot of the highest-grade insulation and heated from within by a centralized hydrogen generator, the base was three miles in diameter with four levels. The top level was ground which composed the outer walls and holding areas for VTOL and snowmobiles, the rest where deep below the surface crust of ice. It was built within a year for the personal use of the Katsuragi expedition, its facilities included biomedical labs, testing facilities and a docking bay. The bay itself was a mile underground, a sleek steel tomb for a God, a God who had slumbered there for countless eternities before being freed from its frozen prison for the use of selfish individuals.  
  
The wind howled and tore at the scientist's uniforms, those poor fools standing in open doorways for a smoke. The harsh conditions afforded no protection from sudden and violent frostbite nor the inevitable gangrene that followed so those individuals that just needed a cigarette were forced to stand by open doorways or windows as no smoking was allowed in the lab itself. Doctor Katsuragi himself was biting back a chill as he blew a cloud of oxygen and smoke into the blustering wind, watching the mass freeze into tiny particles and drift off into the white abyss.   
  
A wan man with a sickly look about him, Hiromi Katsuragi was watching the landing pad with interest as his only true confidant in the expedition left. A VTOL was readying for takeoff at that moment, its cargo one man. The man was dressed in a nutmeg parka with a thermo-suit underneath, standard issue clothes for the Antarctic. His glasses were frozen over with a thick layer of frost as he boarded the craft. Gendo Ikari shut the thick door tight after him and nodded across the pad to Katsuragi. The curt doctor waved his cigarette at the departing man. Within a moment the ship was gone from the scene, its passenger safe from the catastrophe yet to come.  
  
Deep in the subterranean depths of the complex, a fourteen year old girl with purple hair wandered into the lab area. She was dressed in the thick parka and muffler that the rest of the technicians wore but had the front unzipped enough so her face could be seen, beautiful dark eyes glittering over the puffy plastic of the thermo-suit. Misato Katsuragi was a curious girl, eager to come and see her estranged father after so long but still apprehensive on exactly what she was doing here. Without a thought, she entered the enormous docking bay with its mysterious giant awaiting release. The creature was still buried in a thick layer of ice which impeded a real view of the subject's skin or features, the only thing discernable was the spear.  
  
It was found in a deep ice cavern far below the complex itself, at the very apex of the planet. It was humanoid with four limbs, a thick trunk and a red rust-colored spear jutting from its chest. The red spike seemed interwoven with the material of its chest, as if the spear was an extension of the being itself. The weapon was nick-named "The Lance of Longinus" after the Roman centurion who impaled Jesus on the cross, while the giant remained under the codename "ADAM," as in the progenitor of the human race. It was a black and lifeless thing that stood on its hunches with the spear resting on the deck in front of it as a sea of tubes, wires, and scaffolding poured from its body. Misato dared herself to grasp the thin steel railing on the topmost level and look down at the darkness below. Occasional sparks from shorting equipment were all that greeted her eyes.  
  
Dr. Katsuragi was testing his Solenoid theory on the giant and the project's investors were quite impressed at the success of the project. His funding was promised indefinitely by GEHIRN if the quality of work persisted. So intense was the work that his family life suffered as a result, his wife growing cold and his daughter growing petulant. The teen gave one last look down into the gaping hole of the Earth before turning back in disgust. One month out of the year, her ass! Why had her "father" taken her all the way to Antarctica? She had been cast away from his lab and was wandering aimlessly around the base, her footfalls tapping on the metallic floor paneling.  
  
She walked drearily on along the catwalk until bumping into a technician and spilling his tools over the deck. So bumped back was she by the impact that her boots skidded across the railing and she felt the thin railing bar bite into her shoulder-blades as her feet continued to slip. She screamed as she felt nothing under her legs and the call of gravity began to pull her down the bottomless pit. Darkness was at the back of her eyelids and she prayed for the bright light of heaven.   
  
Instead of heaven she found an angel. The technician dove for her and caught her arm in one hand, his other latching onto the slippery rail. She felt a wave of vertigo shudder through her head and opened her eyes, expecting to see the ceiling lights far away but instead awakening to an upside-down world. The tech used his sliding momentum to spin them both over the railing and back to the walk, his movement and rescue defying several laws of motion in the process. He hit the metal on his back, clutching her to his chest and taking most of the impact. She felt his breath against the back of her hair and screamed again, not really understanding that she was safe. When the world stopped spinning, she sat up from his chest and rolled off onto the slippery catwalk.  
  
"Are ya alright?" He was trying to regain his breath. "That's quite a fall. What were you doin' in here anyway?" The raven-haired eighteen-year old sprang up and landed on spiked boots, the metal spikes digging easily into the thick layer of frost. "You shouldn't be walkin' around in here without cleats."  
  
"I...I was just walking around, I guess." Misato had the good conscience to look ashamed at her risky behavior.  
  
"Well, little girls like you shouldn't just be 'walking around' especially in here. You could've died, if I hadn't caught ya." She felt his arms encircle her waist as he coiled his legs on the floor and shot up to the third story catwalk in a single leap. "Here ya go miss...?"  
  
"Katsuragi, Misato Katsuragi." The third-story landing was an enclosed space where her father regularly went over the latest readings. Since she could tell he didn't want to speak with her, she had secretly been following him around, trying desperately to understand his distance and coldness towards her. There was a chair off to the side of the console so she sat down heavily, still trying to fathom how the older boy was able to defy the laws of gravity so casually. "My father is the leader of the expedition."  
  
"Oh!" He replied with a knowing grin. "That's why you're here, I was wonderin' what a little girl like you was doing in the Arctic." He was grinning like a buffoon.  
  
"'Little girl?' I'll have you know I'm fourteen and a half! I can take care of myself!" She flashed an indignant scowl at the young man who was showing such impetuous indifference to her obvious superior intellect. "I'm already in high school, I'm one of the smartest kids in my class, how dare you call me a 'little girl!'"  
  
"Hey, you've got spunk huh? Well nice to meet ya Miss Katsuragi, I'm Ranma Saotome." She obviously wasn't impressed as she crossed her arms and lifted her nose in the air. "Don't worry 'bout it, my father used to drag me all over the place when I was your age too."  
  
She lowered her eyes again to look closer at the youth. He looked about eighteen or twenty with raven-black hair and an angular face still retaining vestiges of youthful fat. His eyes seemed almost iridescent in the blue gloom of the chamber which unnerved her slightly. "And what is your job here, Saotome-san?"  
  
"Just Ranma's fine." He waved her question off and leaned against one of the panels.  
  
"Ranma it is."  
  
"I'm a technician for the computer's sensors. Dr. Katsuragi wants them checked every four hours so the temperature doesn't rise. I don't know, there's just something about this 'THING,'" he stuck a thumb back towards the creature, "that puts me on edge."  
  
"How did you join my father's expedition?"  
  
Ranma crossed his arms over his chest and bent his neck back so he could see the blinding white sky so many feet above. Why he was stuck in Antarctica of all places wasn't all that big of a mystery as Nabiki's manipulations definitely had a hand it his decision. He should have known better...listening to Nabiki was always a mistake. When she offered to get him a real job that would not only pay well but also train him to join her company as well he should have known it was too good to be true. Curse his consummate skills in Anything Goes Computer Diagnostics and Repair! He sighed at his sorry situation. Still...at least it got him out of that crazy hell-hole that was Nerima, at least for a little while.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Huh? What?" He was shaken from his daze.  
  
"You sorta spaced out there for awhile..."  
  
"Nah, don't worry about it. It's nothing." He still had his doubts about this mad doctor's theories, he was running the computer system ragged. He was replacing circuit boards and cables daily!  
  
"Well then Ranma...will you answer my question?"  
  
"What question?"  
  
Misato was pissed. It was bad enough he didn't look at her, but ignoring her as well? If she wanted that kind of casual indifference she'd have gone to her father! This called for serious measures. "The question I just asked you jerk!" She shoved him backwards.  
  
"Hey! Whaddaya do that for!?"  
  
"You weren't listening at all, were you?"  
  
"Nope!" His grin was really beginning to irritate her...  
  
"Why you...!" Her insult was interrupted by the wail of klaxons. Both teens looked up as emergency lights began to flash and urgent voices began to give instructions over the intercom system. A shuddering of metal and the sound of wrenching steel filled the air as the icy walls of the docking bay crumbled under unidentified tremors.  
  
"S2 reaction! We have a reaction! All personnel retreat to the surface!"  
  
"Energy regeneration exceeding expected parameters! Solenoid wavelength is losing cohesion!"  
  
"Try to contain it! We can't let it regenerate!" Misato looked up at the surface from her vantage point so close to the Giant and recognized her father's voice as he barked orders to the scientists and technicians in his employ. "Misato! You have to get out of there!"   
  
Ranma saw a glow appear over the giant, a fierce aura of chaotic power and divine breath, and force its way into every corner of the room; blinding those around it for moments, the way a flashbulb does, before rising in the air and to freedom. Emergency alerts flashed through the base as the Giant of Light slowly lumbered across the sea of snow to its original resting place, leaving the lance buried with the foolish Lillums that sought to imprison its divine power. Snow caved in, ice melted, rain fell as a total reversal of the norm occurred at the nadir of the planet.  
  
As the Giant rose, an explosion of energy carried Ranma and Misato upwards, their frail and tiny forms cast in his wake as ADAM ascended to Heaven. Ranma watched as Misato's form was pulled faster than his own and tried to maneuver himself towards her only to be smashed against a catwalk. His last sight before blackness overwhelmed him was of purple hair tossed in tempestuous gusts.  
  
Ranma awoke to find himself lodged between the twisted catwalk and the twisted lance. Reaching out with his ki, he empowered his arms to bend the steel cage around him and flee the base. The awful sound of metal bending screeched through the air and awoke other survivors. The lance refused to neither bend nor break, it simply was what it was and refused to be bent into any other shape. Ranma spread his battle aura and created an outline of indented metal where he lay, his ki forcing the metal down in a shape that reminded one of a snow angel.  
  
"Dr. Katsuragi! Your arm!" An assistant screamed from across the deck.  
  
"Leave me be! I have to save Misato!" The doctor's gruff tone pushed back the worried sea of technicians around him, splitting the proverbial Red Sea. Ranma wearily got to his feet and scuffed the debris from his feet. It was at that exact moment that the above ground crews were imploded by blasts of light ejected from the Giant's eyes.  
  
Girders, glass windows, lab equipment, and other hazardous wreckage rained upon the helpless survivors and crushed many of those that were injured. Dr. Katsuragi's arm was stripped of its remaining flesh by a falling tank of sulfuric acid, the corrosive fluid dripping away skin and muscle leaving bloodied bone behind. Even with irreparable damage to his own body, the doctor lifted his daughter and carried her out towards the underground escape pods, determined not to fail her again. Ranma had to give the guy some credit, he had guts.  
  
Turning back to the lance, Ranma observed that it was glowing strongly with a soft yellow light. It seemed to illuminate the room with its pale iridescence, a sickly color that seemed to emaciate the faces of those that survived. Tentatively, Ranma reached out to touch the aura and in a flash he was gone.  
  
---Escape Bay---  
  
The underground warehouses each held six life pods that fed off of six diesel generators, a back-up plan in case an experiment went wrong, in turn these pods would be shot through conduits until reaching the surface. Dr. Katsuragi's skeletal hand grabbed hold of a handle and yanked with all its might. It came off. The acid had burned away nerves as well as flesh so the good doctor felt no pain as the appendage left his body only to clutter the ground in so many pieces. He gazed lovingly at his daughter and regretted his decision of work over family, and silently hoping that this final act of fatherly love would erase the hurt feelings between them.  
  
A blast was heard from above. Adam was burrowing down now to make its new resting place, if the teams of technicians were successful then Adam would expel all its power and shrink to an embryonic stage when it used its weapon. The power released would be enormous, a staggering death toll around the world! These thoughts whirled in the head of Hiromi Katsuragi as he lay bleeding over the escape pod. Misato brought only one possession of her father's to the surface, his white cross necklace. He hoped it would give her better luck than it did him. His last thoughts were interrupted as the world was wiped clean.  
  
---2015, Tokyo-3---  
  
Shinji Ikari stood at a phone booth on the West Side of town waiting for his ride. It had been a decade since he last saw Gendo Ikari, his estranged father. He led a quiet life with his uncle and aunt, had few friends, but he had stability. But that was over now, his father sent word last week that he was needed in Tokyo-3 for the good of humanity, who was he to disagree?  
  
A thunderous crash echoed off the nearby warehouses and shook the high tension wires around him. What the hell was that!?! An enormous explosion off in the distance answered his query. A radiant blast that tore at his clothes and forced him skittering down the street.  
  
Another crash and the sounds of warfare. A green shoulder encased in a white armor plate drifted into view from behind a mountain. The Third Child's story began.  
  
---2015, Berlin---  
  
"C'mon! I don't need to go to Tokyo! I'd much rather stay here!" A young girl, perhaps fourteen, wafted down the corridor. Her eyes were brilliant stars of intelligence, and hid all too well her cunning, manipulative mind. Her hair was auburn with flecks of brown and mirrored her mood perfectly, fortunately her guardian had experience with her ways.  
  
"Now, now, Asuka. Wouldn't you like to meet the other Children? I hear the Third is quite handsome..." He was baiting her. "Besides, you're the greatest, wouldn't you like to upstage him? He had the highest beginner synch ratio, even higher than yours." She was egotistical, as he had been in his youth, why not use that to his advantage.  
  
"Well... I guess I _should_ pound some humility the poor sap, I mean, it's preposterous for anyone to think that their better than I!" She'd fallen for his ruse. "I'll do it!" Asuka grinned evilly as she thought of the Third and the righteous justice she would enact on his prone pride...   
  
The man sweatdropped as the girl gave off yet another maniacal chuckle. Maybe honing her competitive streak wasn't a good idea. Well, it wasn't the first time he made a mistake. Ranma Saotome had made plenty.  
  
At age thirty-four, the young Saotome was the picture of health, both mentally and physically. Indeed many thought him to be unmovable, unshakable, and unflappable; but it was not always that way. After seeing the Angel of God in Antarctica, Ranma was cast into the sea and the mercy of nature. ADAM's reversion to embryonic form caused a tremendous backlash of power that cascaded out from the wings as Katsuragi's Solenoid system expelled all the Giant's kinetic energy; as a result, Ranma was carried by the waves to Australia. From there he was taken back to Japan by the Red Cross as the government began dredging the ocean for corpses. They were all dead, Akane, Soun, Genma, the Kunos, Ukyo, Shampoo, Cologne, Mousse, Happosai, Ryoga, Akari, everyone gone in the instant where he couldn't help them. Drowning in sorrow and sinking to the depths of the sea, never to return.  
  
It had taken a year for him to pull his fragile psyche back to some semblance of normal, in that year he continued honing his skills and learned the secret , forbidden techniques of the Musubetsu Kakuto Ryu sealed by Genma years before. As the government sold off the land to other countries, GEHIRN, the organization that had funded Katsuragi's research and the ill-fated expedition, solicited him. They were offering all survivors of the Katsuragi Expedition lifetime employment with the organization in an attempt to appear magnanimous to the victims. The only other survivor Ranma ever heard of was Gendo Ikari, Katsuragi's friend and co-head of the disastrous enterprise, a man he had gotten to know during the first few months of the excavation. With much reluctance, Ranma moved to Berlin, Germany, and became a member of GEHIRN and later NERV as nothing held him to his homeland any longer. Kasumi and Nabiki had survived as had several of his friends, Hiroshi and Daisuke, and his mother. As a Major, he was in charge of information gathering and the protection of the Second Child, Asuka Langley Sohryu. When he first arrived he was apprehensive as they issued him a firearm but then the style of warfare _had_ changed. After taking his first bullet he eagerly learned how to fire a gun.  
  
Now his superiors, the SEELE council of Human Instrumentality, wanted him to travel to Japan with the Second Child. He was given Alpha level security clearance and the embryo of ADAM for transport. He shuddered as he looked at the thick briefcase sitting by his bed.  
  
"We're leaving at 03:00:00 hours tomorrows so pack and get some sleep. G'night Asuka-chan." He knew she hated being called that.  
  
"Shiest! Will you stop calling me that! I'm fourteen and a young woman, I won't have you treating me as a child anymore!"  
  
"I'll stop calling you Asuka-_chan_ when you leave my supervision. Until that time I'll treat you as my ward which you are." He chose to ignore her flagrant flirting and patted her gently on the head.  
  
With a final, defiant scoff of disgust, Asuka left in a tiff down the gray hallways of NERV branch 2, Berlin. Ranma watched her go but made no move to follow. He had a few calls to make before they left.  
  
---The Ilpalazzo 2, Tokyo-3---  
  
"Asuka! Asuka! It's time to get up!" Ranma yanked on his ward's arm. After ten more tries he gave up, throwing the arm back down, where it bounced twice before lying still. Ranma had had a good night's sleep, mediation through dreaming, and was ready to tackle the difficult tasks of today, which included his physical and CAT scans at NERV. He just hoped that the doctor wasn't a woman, they always tended to leer at him while he was nude and always asked for that 'special sample' that they so desperately needed 'for the good of humanity'. He scoffed and walked to the bathroom for a long soak.  
  
Asuka's eyes opened as the sliding door shut and she threw off the blankets. Padding across the carpeted floor, she knelt by the door and peeked in through the keyhole, watching as Ranma settled himself in the furo. Unfortunately for her, his back was to her but she did get a glimpse of his nicely rounded ass as he stepped in, it was a shame he wouldn't just accept her advances...  
  
She continued to watch until he began to stand and, realizing her perilous position, Asuka leapt back into bed with the covers up to her neck, one eye partially open. Her guardian walked out of the bathroom wearing only a towel around his waist and deftly placed both of their uniforms on the dresser. Her mouth was dry in anticipation as he began to disrobe...  
  
When he took off his towel to reveal a pair of boxers, Asuka screamed in frustration.  
  
---NERV Headquarters, Tokyo-3---  
  
Two individuals sat in a darkened room as light flickered off them, illuminating their faces. They were Rei Ayanami and Shinji Ikari - the First and Third Children respectively- and they were currently watching as an enormous whale shaped angel was neatly filleted by a red EVA. The prog. knife cut cleanly through the skin of the beast and gore gushed out from the wound.  
  
"After this occurred the angel was shot at point blank range by two battleships and expired. The fastest angel defeat yet." Dr. Ritsuko Akagi stopped the footage and flipped on the lights.  
  
"Wow! She may be the best pilot so far! Maybe she'll be more normal than these two." Misato gestured to the couple. Shinji gave her the evil eye while Rei didn't seem to give any reaction at all.  
  
Since the catastrophe fifteen years ago, Misato Katsuragi had changed considerably. As a child, she was know for being withdrawn and quiet, after Second Impact her personality had flipped completely, she was quick to smile and make fun, her smile infectious and her eyes bright. Her father's plan succeeded in saving her life but she still had a long scar on her chest and left breast from her horrible ordeal at the South Pole. The events had plagued her nightmares for years afterward.   
  
After two years her mind began to function again and she was soon attending college with Ritsuko Akagi and Ryouji Kaji, her boyfriend. As the years progressed her vitality and talkative nature grew even more pronounced but an obsessive desire for vengeance against the Angels found her in the military and soon NERV. At NERV she was Captain Katsuragi, military operations officer, and an excellent tactician capable of split-second decisions that ultimately won the day; also at NERV she was reunited with her two friends Kaji and Ritsuko. As guardian for the Third Child Shinji Ikari, she was a disaster - her 'roommate' did most of the cooking and cleaning, but she was a sound guardian for the young man. Now she was taking Asuka from Germany under her wing.  
  
Now, with her omnipresent can of UCC Coffee, she reviewed the battle against the Sixth Angel.  
  
"She outperformed our latest projections and was able to swim with the B-equipment! By all calculations that can't be done! She's incredible." Ritsuko sipped at her NERV mug.  
  
"And I'll be her guardian I suppose?" Misato raised an eyebrow in the direction of Shinji.  
  
"Well, we don't know yet. She came here with her own guardian but it'll all be up to Commander Ikari. They stayed at a hotel last night and the Commander will make a decision today, so they'll probably be hanging around here until then." Ritsuko slid her chair back and gestured to Maya at the door. "If you'll excuse me I have to give Asuka's guardian their physical."  
  
"Is it a man?" Misato prodded relentlessly. Her relationship with Kaji had been disintegrating since college and she was always open to other options, especially ones that were tall, handsome, and had a great butt.  
  
"I don't know. But I guess we'll find out." Ritsu and Maya left through the right doorway and Misato was left with the children still staring at the viewscreen.  
  
"Uh guys? The films over..."  
  
"We are aware of that fact Major Katsuragi." Rei deadpanned.  
  
---Recreational Wing of NERV Geo-Front---  
  
"Now Major Saotome we'll start your required physical." Ritsuko wore her customary lab coat and was seated next to Maya at the end of gym #5; today had been particularly stressful due to the mandatory diagnostics performed on EVA -02. Her glasses hung from the tip of her nose as Ranma finished off a can of pocari sweat, his uniform jacket pulling tight against his pecs. "First will be an examination in regards to your heartbeat, reflexes, blood...I think you get the idea."  
  
"Please Dr. Akagi, Lt. Ibuki, just call me Ranma. I don't really need the title, it just goes along with the job. Besides, I always encourage good employee relations."" He flashed them a lopsided grin showing perfect teeth. The woman's hearts skipped a beat and a crimson flush grew on their faces.  
  
"Well, _Ranma_, you can call me Ritsuko and this is Maya."  
  
"Hello." Came Maya's timid reply.  
  
"Nice to meet you." Ranma bend forward and kissed her hand. "I think we'll get along just fine."  
  
"Now, follow me to the examination room and we can get this over with. I'm sure you have a lot to do today, what with the transfer and all. Commander Ikari will be making the decision regarding your continued guardianship of Pilot Sohryu today."  
  
"Not really, my superiors already took care of it." He looked at the aura surrounding her and it was as if he could read her mind. "You don't like Commander Ikari that much do you?" He spoke in a flat tone, there was no room for argument.  
  
Ritsuko was, needless to say, shocked that he would ask such a thing. "What-whatever gives you that idea?"  
  
"Just call it a hunch." He winked at her.  
  
"Let's just get on with it okay?" She led him out a set of double door and through a narrow hallway to a plain looking door. A sterile, white room with metal walls looked back at them from the entrance. Ritsu flipped the lights and a spartan room was revealed beyond, two sliding chairs, a metal desk and a gray metal examining table with black cushions. Stretching out his senses, Ranma could tell that two audio sensors were hidden in the walls and one video recorder was hidden in another. Noting the locations he began to disrobe. Ritsu watched in evident relish as the well muscled male lay half nude on the table before her. She hoped that Maya was recording all of this in the observation room. A small trail of drool made its way down her mouth.  
  
Since his defeat at the hands of the Messenger of God, he had been training himself even harder than before to make sure he wouldn't be so helpless ever again; Ranma was now capable of far more than he was in his teens. Since that time he had been conditioning his body for extended workouts and ki manipulation. Now he was all that his father wished for him to be, the greatest martial artist in the world, a goal he had achieved only in memory of his dearly departed friends and family. Now considered to be the last practitioner and Grand Master of Musubetsu Kakuto Ryu, he held a grand master status in kempo, kendo, amazon Whu-Shu, karate, tai-chi and ninjitsu with master status in judo, jeet kun, capoeira, and shotokan. Through the teachings of various sects of monks, he was able to control, suppress, direct, and supervise the flow of ki in his body, resulting in rapid growth and enhancement of his musculature. He was now capable of punching through three feet of reinforced steel with his bare hands, kick through concrete, hold his breath for fifteen minutes, leap thirty feet straight up in the air, and run 28.3 miles without breaking a sweat.  
  
As he began working as a lab technician in NERV's second branch he was approached by an operative of the SEELE council of Human Instrumentality. Apparently, when he entered into their service, the MAGI pulled out his performance file from the Katsuragi Expedition. Serving as a low level service technician seemed a good position since no one ever took the time to relay all the lower staff that had perished in the explosion, advantageous to say the least.  
  
If Dr. Akagi scanned his blood for 'SIN' she'd not find a trace, but as it was assumed that everyone was infected, she wouldn't. 'SIN' was the DNA of ADAM that dispersed into the atmosphere and spread around the world, recently sterility had become a major problem and was attributed to the hindrance of the Angel's DNA to our own. Every person living on the planet (with the exception of Ranma and three members of the SEELE council) was infected as it was passed through childbirth and adults living at the time inhaled the DNA unknowingly. This was the deciding factor in the selection of the Children as the higher percentages of Angel DNA in the genetic structure allowed the chosen ease in piloting and synchronizing with ADAM's children.  
  
"We'll check your blood pressure and heart rate first." Ritsuko slipped the cuff around his firm arm, casually caressing his skin. The cuff inflated with each squeeze of air but shattered moments later, before making a mark on his skin. She looked incredulously from the tattered remains of the cuff to his exposed arm. "Uh...we'll take it manually alright?" She fumbled with shaking hands for her watch. Even through her nervousness she took a moment to run her hand along his silky smooth skin before finding his pulse.  
  
"Sure, but I thought I'd tell you that this is gonna be difficult."  
  
---SEELE Council room, location unknown---  
  
It had existed since time immemorial, a chamber galvanized against the ravages of time and war. It was said that Hitler planned his genocidal campaign in that very room, that the French Revolution was planned within those hallowed walls. Now, it held a meeting with far more reaching implications, such as the end of mankind.  
  
SEELE 01:Our operative seems to be doing well.  
SEELE 10:Yes, with any luck he will soon be privy to NERV's defense grids.  
SEELE 02:Then we will attack NERV and reclaim what is rightfully ours.  
SEELE 05:However, if Dr. Akagi screens for 'SIN' then our rouse is over.  
SEELE 12:Will our alibi for his blood fall through?  
SEELE 01:It will do us no good to worry about such trivial matters. What we need to discuss are the restrictions to be placed on Ikari.  
SEELE 06:In the long term, I suggest cutting the defense budget.  
SEELE 01:Agreed. If the situation should warrant any direct action our forces should be able to capture the Geo-Front in one swift move.  
SEELE 04:The UN's operative, Ryouji Kaji, will he interfere with our plans?  
SEELE 01:I doubt it. Operative Saotome should be able to handle the mission. I believe we are all aware of his...unique...abilities.  
  
The black monoliths of SEELE begin to chuckle at some unseen joke, their hollow, booming laughter echoing off the unseen walls of the chamber and reverberating into a cacophony of twisted, mechanical gaiety. The images disappeared as their laughter subsided until only the tallest monolith carrying the designation 'SEELE 01' remained. Even that disappeared into the form of a tall elderly man wearing a queer sort of visor and green robes. He was seated at a gray desk whose location could have been anywhere in the world, for this man was the driving force behind Project E and the NERV organization, Lorenz Kihl. Now, sitting in the darkness, he raised his hands as if in prayer to some unforgiving god.  
  
"Ikari, you have begun to cross us. If you are that arrogant as to face this organization then you will surely be crushed. You will pay Ikari." That having been said, the image returned to its previous shape.  
  
SEELE 01:The time is coming Ikari when you will draw upon your hidden resources, and it will be then that you realize they no longer exist.  
  
---NERV examination room 309---  
  
Ritsuko was in a quandary, how could this even be a man? Ranma was sitting in a chair, half naked, while she pondered the phenomena. [His reflexes reacted before I even touched him, the testing needles I used snapped on his skin, his musculature is far beyond anything I've ever seen, and he has the healthiest lungs and heart in Japan. What could be causing this? Maybe this final test'll shed some light on It.] "Ranma?"  
  
"Yes? If you wanna take my blood you'll have to warn me otherwise you won't be able to." Always the trickster, he had been toying with her, using his enhanced control of ki to strengthen his cells to impossible levels. When she'd tried his reflexes he'd stretched out his aura to stop the rubber hammer an inch away from his skin.  
  
"Uh no. That's not what I need from you. Your almost done here, I just need one more sample, a very important one," she snickered, "I need a sperm sample." His face went white, his hands began to twitch. Ritsuko opened a drawer on the wheeling cart next to her and gave him a sixteen ounce plastic specimen cup. "Here."  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"Don't worry, I'll leave the room. Just call when you're done!" She opened the door, "That is unless you need some _help_?" She added playfully.  
  
"Uh no, I'll be just fine by myself." She slipped through the door to join Maya in the observation room finally understanding why Misato liked to tease people. It was fun!  
  
Not feeling particularly miffed but feeling that he should at least get back at Ritsuko for her offer of a 'hand-on' approach he reached out with his senses for the surveillance equipment in the walls. Turning to face the video feed, he dropped his pants.  
  
Maya had been sitting in the observation room for three hours as Ritsuko poked, stretched, and prodded Ranma in the exam. That is not to say she didn't have fun gazing at a half nude male flexing, but she had severe reservations about this next test. A knock sounded from the hidden door. She turned around in time to see a short crop of blonde hair slip through the doorway.  
  
"Maya? Has he started yet?" Her sempai combed her fingers through her hair and took a seat. She swiveled over a bit to allow Ritsuko room at the monitor. On screen Ranma had just placed the cup on the desk beside him. The camera was planted at midlevel with a horizontal lens, allowing for a complete vista of the subject before them.  
  
"Are you sure this is a good idea sempai?" For some mysterious reason Ranma had turned towards the camera. Almost as if he knew exactly where it was planted but that was preposterous, wasn't it...?  
  
Ritsu laughed a bit than removed her lab coat. "Don't worry Maya, it's just a joke anyway." It may have been a joke before, but as Ranma dropped his pants to the full view of the camera, that joke turned into a serious proposal. The fiber-optic camera was color and recorded in full, crisp, clarity. Maya fainted as the hunky subject began. A small trail of drool fell from Ritsuko's mouth as she saw the benefits of his 'muscle' enhancements.  
  
---Two hours later---  
  
Ritsuko left the observation room visibly shaken. Maya was on the verge of collapse as she held a fresh tissue to her bleeding nose. In fact, Maya was leaning heavily against Ritsu as she walked down to the examining room. Her assistant left for the cafeteria, at this point they both needed a few cups of coffee, or a cold shower.  
  
Knuckles rapped on the metal door, the hollow sound reverberating off the sterile walls. Ritsuko held her breath as she walked in then, hoping he was done.  
  
"Have you finished Ranma?" She stopped. Right in her tracks.  
  
Ranma was sitting at the desk, slipping his shoes on as Ritsuko staggered to the desk. Three specimen cups were lined on the desk. Visibly shaken, she motioned him out and shut off the lights, reminding herself to run a steroid enhancement scan on his 'samples.' Her last thought was of Misato. If her purple-haired friend wanted to get with Ranma that night, she'd better buy a lot of lubricant and an ice-pack.  
  
---To be continued---  
  
I hope you all enjoyed this little light-hearted romp through the world of NERV. This whole concept was thought up and written down in response to the glaring lack of Ranma/EVA crossovers. At the Church of Crossover Couples, maintained by the VGAP, the slots for fanfics pairing Ranma and Misato, Ritsuko, or Maya were blank. Somebody has to do something about this! I'm now putting out a challenge, whether anyone will take it I don't know, a challenge to write a good piece of fanfiction pairing Ranma and Misato, Ranma and Ritsuko, or Ranma and Maya.  
  
Questions? Comments?  
Call our customer service line at   
Skaiton@netscape.net 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I own nothing but a few concepts and the story itself. The rest belongs to their respective copyright holders.  
  
---NERV, Terminal Dogma. ---  
  
A figure stalked the corridors and unlit passages of Terminal Dogma; his shapeless form distinct only by the gray case at his side. Ranma Saotome, Major of Tactical Espionage and Covert Hagiography, the latter dealing with the elimination of Angelic materials from unauthorized countries, entered the final level of the base and proceeded with caution. As commander of the TECH department he was well-versed in spiritual texts and Aramaic prophecy, subjects that interested him after Second Impact. Kihl had given him explicit instructions to observe the supreme commander of NERV and alert the committee to any bizarre behavior.  
  
Now, as the lighting dwindled and the corridor ended, he would have his first encounter with the Supreme Commander of NERV, Gendo Ikari, in fifteen years. He had read the biography and case history of the man, knew about his early involvement in Project E, and how he lost his wife. The profile little matched his own remembrance of Gendo from when they first met in Antarctica, he remembered an intense man but not as distant and cold as his file would lead one to believe. The suitcase was dropped to the floor as a looming black metal door faced him from the end of the hall. Smiling at the high security, Ranma withdrew a red passcard from his jacket, a beige parka designed for arctic conditions, perfect for the high-level cold rooms beneath NERV headquarters. Gloves pulled out his NERV card from the reader, a faint beeping indicating he was cleared, and why shouldn't he have been? After all, he did have Alpha level clearance, given to him personally by Chairman Kihl. The frozen doors opening, he brushed his way into the artifact room.  
  
It was a misty environment, intense cold more than likely to freeze bodily fluids instantaneously, his boots clanging against the grated floor. A hazy shape shimmered towards the back of the room, the only distinguishing feature his glasses sparkling with frost. Gendo Ikari stood with a rigid imperialistic stance, his gloved hands shoved into the deep lined pockets of his own jacket. As Ranma came closer to the man, he spoke out.  
  
"Do you have it?" There was no sense of familiarity, no emotion in that voice, only a cold, calculating, analytical mind.  
  
In response, he placed the case on a nearby desk, the gray durasteel shaving a layer of ice off. The thin shavings were crushed under Gendo's feet as he walked up to the contents. Inside were thick layers of Bakelite surrounding a rectangular stasis box, inside lay the embryonic form of an Angel. Gendo pulled off a gloved hand, running it over the grotesque creature lovingly.  
  
"It's already regenerating, even through the Bakelite." A pause. "This is the one right?" His clothes were freezing over as the refrigeration began to compensate for the lost cold. His eyes darted to the spectacled man.  
  
The room grew dark, a stray beam of light causing Gendo's glasses to go white. He smirked beneath the mirrored surface of his tinted lenses. "Yes. The first Angel and father of humanity...  
  
"ADAM."  
  
---Title---  
  
Evangelical History: Chapter 2  
A Ranma/Evangelion fusion  
By Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton  
  
---NERV Cafeteria, 28th floor---  
  
Ritsuko and Maya arrived through the laboratory emergency doors, their frantic gasps eliciting glances from the personnel on break. Shinji, Rei, Asuka, Misato and Kaji were over at a roundtable drinking coffee watching the monorail pass along overhead, the older couple in the middle of a heated disagreement yet again.  
  
"There's no way I'm leaving a teenage girl in your custody! It would be a disaster if you _did_ something to the girl and it leaked to the papers! Besides, it's just unseemly." Misato chugged a can of beer in-between outbursts, the amber fluid dribbling down her chin. "And anyway the Commander makes the final decision, you can't just request a Child for your custody, they're not like dogs or rabbits you know."  
  
"Hey! Calm down Misato-chan, I was just saying, I mean you have Shinji..." He trailed off letting her imagine the rest. He was a licentious looking man with a short ponytail and a days worth of stubble on his jaw, he seemed the type to be a covert spy or something, but no one really thought he had the guts.  
  
"That's right, _I_ have Shinji, which means they think _I'm_ a good role model for the pilots! And stop calling me Misato-chan! We broke up over six months ago!" She drank the rest of her beer, grimacing at how little was left. "Damnitt!"  
  
"If you keep drinking like that you're going to get a gut."  
  
"Why you!" Misato crumpled the can of Yebisu in her fist and cocked her arm back to give Kaji a mouthful of metal when Ritsu coolly walked behind and snatched the offending object away. With the weapon hidden in the voluminous folds of her sterile lab coat, she and her assistant sat down.  
  
"Do you know what the best workout for your beergut is, Misato? It's not called 'let's wallop a dummy,' but 'exercise.' I told you to stop drinking last year as well!" Already horny as all hell from Ranma's last 'test,' she wasn't in the mood for Misato's verbal warfare.  
  
"Hey! I do not have a gut!" She pulled up her shirt as proof, exposing her red lace bra to the workers sitting at the next table. As the hooting and hollering continued, Misato's icy glare silenced the room. "And I do too exercise! I run a lot." She crossed her shapely legs.  
  
Maya giggled at the captain's plight, then nudged Ritsu for another scathing reply. "There's not an ounce of muscle in your upper body Misato and we all know it," she replied smugly, "unless you call those," she pointed at her breasts, "muscles. However, I think we all know a certain muscle group you have that gets used a _lot_. At least it used to. I'll give you a hint, it's right below your waist." She smirked as the others shared lecherous grins.   
  
"Are you saying I sleep around? Are you?" Ritsu nodded the affirmative, drawing even more nods from the people seated around them. The Children just sat in their seats, listening wide-eyed at the events unfolding before their eyes. "I'll have you know I'm nothing like I was in college!" She protested, blushing down to her toes.  
  
"Uh...Shinji? Do they always act this way?" Asuka prodded the young pilot.  
  
"No, they've usually thrown a few punches by now. It happened last time, right Rei?" Shinji deferred to his fellow pilot, the enigmatic red-eyed albino Rei Ayanami.  
  
"Yes. Captain Katsuragi's eye stopped swelling by Monday." Asuka always thought it was dangerous in Tokyo-3, just never expected it to be _this_ dangerous.  
  
The fight continued at the centre table, insults flowing like wine at a Bacchanal, with a cheering section behind for both Misato and Ritsuko, Misato had more admirers though. The group finally managed to appease their purple-haired captain, although getting her to keep her mouth shut was getting to be a problem. Feigning tranquility, Misato waited until Kaji let her go before leaping at Ritsuko again. Nobody ever spread rumors about her, not even her boyfr-er...ex-boyfriend. As it so happened as she left the safety of her seat for the air, a pair of strong hands grabbed her arms, roughly shoving her back to her seat. She was about to shoot off a stinging insult to whoever stopped her from divine vengeance when the commander stepped into view.  
  
Gendo had seen Ranma move to intercept his tactical commander and saw how fast he had moved, almost flowing like water. He was keen to view the test results and discover the secret at the heart of his old acquaintance. As it stood now, he needed to speak with the Captain. "Captain Katsuragi. My office." Four words, two sentences, and all color drained from her face, her mouth agape. He turned on a leather heel and strode out. Ranma let the woman go after, seeing she was not a threat.  
  
"Ranma! I'm _so_ glad to see you!" Asuka, wasting no time, grabbed the young Saotome in a fierce glomp. Unable to push her away, Ranma simple grinned sheepishly at the crowd. "I have to live with someone Ranma, do you know if I can stay with you?"  
  
"Uh...no Asuka, I don't. Can you please let go of me?" She began to nuzzle her face into his chest, eliciting a nervous chuckle from her guardian. "I really need to tell Ritsuko something." Reluctantly, Asuka disengaged.  
  
The table stood up for introductions. Ritsuko began. "Allow me to introduce the First Child, Rei Ayanami,"  
  
"Hiya Rei!" Ranma put out his hand. When nothing rose to greet it, he shrugged and let it fall back down.  
  
"The Third Child Shinji Ikari,"  
  
"Nice to meet you Shinji." They shook hands.  
  
"And our wargame coordinator Ryouji Kaji." Ritsuko's voice seemed to lower in reference to her personal feelings about the man.  
  
"I'll have to stop by sometime so we can start the pilot's training simulations." Ranma and Kaji laughed a bit, getting off on the right foot. Even as they exchanged badinage, Ranma knew to be weary of the man, his aura showed he hid something, something very important. "That's actually the reason I have to talk to you Ritsuko, as of today I'm taking command of tactical operations."  
  
"Really? I guess Misato's out of a job." Ritsu laughed a bit at her own joke, halting when no one understood her jest. "I never thought Commander Ikari would fire her though, her battle plans may be unusual, but always very effective."  
  
"Ah yes, I heard about Operation Yashima, brilliant thinking for one so young. I'm kinda sorry I wasn't there myself! Must've been a hell of a light show!" He laid his thick callused hands on his charge's shoulders, pulling her in front of him. Her posterior barely was making contact with the front of his pants, but even in public, even with coworkers nearby, Asuka couldn't help thinking if she'd be in this position again...perhaps naked on a waterbed... Blushing, she knocked that thought away as she drew attention from her fellow pilots.  
  
"Well what about Asuka? Where'll she be staying?" Kaji interjected. "Is she going with you, Misato-chan, or me?"  
  
"I don't really know, Ikari's gonna talk to the captain about it. I guess we'll know when she gets back."  
  
---Commander Ikari's Office, NERV level 66---  
  
"The Second Child will be put into Major Saotome's care. They will move into your building tomorrow, I'll see to it that Ms. Sohryu is enrolled at school. Is this clear?" The voice was commanding, not asking. Failure to acquiesce risked death.  
  
"Understood sir."  
  
He leaned forward on his heavy onyx desk, the intricate patterns carved into the metal giving his face an eerie luminosity, almost like a ghost of evils long forgotten. "Major Saotome will also be taking over tactical operations. You will remain on the bridge roster as backup and counsel for him. Is that also clear?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Good. Dr. Akagi, Lieutenant Ibuki, Captain Kaji and Pilot Ayanami will also be residing at your housing complex within a few weeks. If any problems arise with this arraignment, you may file a complaint." The door behind her opened with a click, she realized the audience was finished and promptly walked out. As the doors closed with terrifying finality, Fuyutsuki crept from the shadows.  
  
"Are you sure giving him command of tactical operations is a good idea Ikari? You know Kihl sent him here to spy on us, why risk giving out more secrets?" Taking his customary seat beside Gendo's desk, Fuyutsuki retrieved a Go hintbook from his jacket and prepared a handicap game.  
  
"Kihl has invested his own personal interest in the man. It does not matter in any case if he is a spy or not, Fuyutsuki, I know where Major Saotome's allegiances lie." He placed a glimmering white tile on the grid. "I know him."  
  
Taken aback by his compatriot's move and comment, Fuyutsuki frowned and placed a black tile next to Gendo's. "If you know him, can we trust him? I think he's much too valuable, he knows so much. It'd be a pity to kill him."  
  
"I have no intention of killing Major Saotome." With one final move, Gendo ended the game. Turning in his seat, he punched up the number of Dr. Akagi's office. Getting an answering machine, he calmly gave his order. "Dr. Akagi. Test Major Saotome for SIN. Report to my office when you have finished." He sat back then, with Fuyutsuki staring with wide eyes at his defeat and pondered the purpose of Ranma Saotome in this world.  
  
"Dammit."  
  
---Misato's flat, later that day---  
  
Misato was drinking. This in and of itself was not too spectacular, but the fact that she was actually trying to get drunk was. After the meeting with the commander, she'd been dragged through hell by Ritsuko's ridicule of her demotion. Of course the fact that her replacement was a man only made her more angry than anything else, her appointment to NERV as chief of tactical operations had proved to her that women could do anything a man could do. Chauvinistic attitudes towards her were cleanly nipped in the bud during her first year as captain.  
  
Now all her hard work seemed for naught, and it didn't help much that Ranma was far more qualified for the job but it just helped to think of it as a grave injustice. A mitigating factor was of course he had a terrific butt, better than Kaji's actually. As the thoughts entered her mind she swallowed the remainder of her drink then reached for the next, only to discover that was the last can. Grumbling and irritable, she threw on her jacket and stumbled to the door.  
  
"I-I'm goin' out Shinji-kun! D-don't wait up for me!" Pausing for confirmation, she still left even when no voice came to answer her. Besides, it was only a block to the nearest bar.  
  
That one block soon became a major stumbling block for the intoxicated captain. Weaving and bobbing down the street, she found herself down three alleys before reaching the friendly neighborhood bar. The world was spinning as the dimmed room came into focus for her, the occupants passing a curious eye to the wobbling NERV worker. Finally the spinning overtook her and she crumpled to the floor in a snoring heap. In the end, only one man got up to help her, Major Ranma Saotome.  
  
After making sure Asuka was asleep, he had retreated to this small establishment to work out his thoughts on NERV, Japan. Known throughout the NERV circles in Germany for his drinking habits, seeing him consume twelve beers was not an uncommon sight. His enhanced metabolism simply broke down the alcohol faster than normal people. Now he saw Misato stumble into the bar and collapse on the floor. Running over and checking for a fever, all he found was a tell-tale red glow to her face.  
  
"Misato? Misato? Can you stand up?" When no answer greeted him save a half-hearted belch he hefted her over his shoulder, paid the bartender, and walked home. He didn't even know where she lived so he simply took her back to him apartment. Indistinct mutterings following him home. Juggling her around to get out his key had been difficult, made even more so when he accidentally squeezed something other than her leg. It was firm but giving. Unlike a certain specter from his past, she didn't lash out violently but moaned slightly in her sleep. Letting out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, Ranma slipped his key through the reader, kicked off his shoes and put his new assistant to bed.  
  
Boxes were everywhere, stacked up high against the walls. Luckily the movers had unloaded their beds first so both of them had something to sleep on for the night. Tonight he was just thankful they had brought up the couch as well. Somehow sensing she was in bed, Misato began unconsciously tugging her clothing off, sprawling all over the bed. He wisely covered her in a sheet before she'd shown him too much skin.  
  
Looking at her now, without the angry mask she wore earlier, she was really quite beautiful, in fact, many men might call her radiant. Her long purple hair fell to mid-back, long legs giving a taller appearance that beguiled her true height. Her chest, longed for by many boys at Shinji's school as well as NERV employees, and face filled out the rest. He had laid her down on her side, so if she did throw up during the night she wouldn't drown, then hit the couch. As the thin sheet settled over him, and as Asuka's snores filtered in from her open door, Ranma dreamed. A green glass cylinder slipped from his fingers, shattering on the coffee table.  
  
---SEELE Council Room, location unknown---  
  
SEELE 10:The next Angel, Israfel, has entered our scopes.  
  
SEELE 09:It is too early for it to arrive. The scrolls said one every two phases.  
  
SEELE 06:The scrolls can be wrong. They were written by nomadic seers thousands of years ago.  
  
SEELE 01:Ikari is ready for the attack and our operative has already infiltrated NERV's personnel. The time is drawing near that we shall need an EVA, and our agent will give us one.  
  
SEELE 05:It is not wise to squabble as the world nears the end of its time.  
  
SEELE 10:Yes, we must focus on more pressing matters. The rest of the EVA series must be completed for our plan to work.  
  
SEELE 01:Yes, finish construction. Place out pieces. Then crush NERV when we need it no longer. Do not forget we have a committee meeting next week.  
  
All the monoliths vanish leaving Kihl halloed by light. As he returns to his office he whispers a short chant. The Kaddish.  
  
---To be continued---  
  
---Glossary---  
  
Hagiography: The study and biography of the saints. Here it is applied to the unauthorized study of angelic materials, such as blood.  
Badinage: Light, playful banter.  
  
Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton  
Skaiton@netscape.net 


	3. Chapter Three

---Title---  
  
Evangelical History - Chapter 3  
A Ranma/Evangelion crossover  
By Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton  
  
---Tri-Gan Apartments, late morning---  
  
Sunlight came in through an open window, refracted from the numerous skyscrapers erected all over the city. The insidious light crept along the ground, eating up the darkness, until reaching a huddled mass of blankets and sheets that was once a freshly made futon. In its stead now lay sheet atop blanket, atop sheet, atop blanket, atop futon; the occupant seemingly unaware she was now solely resting on the carpeted floor. A few strands of purple hair peaked out from the mass of bedding, then a slender hand, a few mumbled swears, then finally a head.  
  
Misato as a rule was not an early riser, her late working hours prevented that. At times she would sleep at work, slumped over a technician's console or in the infirmary, someplace no one would look. Now because of the damn sun, she wouldn't be getting anymore sleep that particular morning. Yawning, she idly scratched her stomach, she walked towards the bathroom. Her uniform was crumpled in a pile next to her bed and she was dressed in a white sports bra and pink cotton panties. The bra did nothing to conceal her scar nor did the panties do anything for her modesty as they were so small and sheer that purple hairs stuck out from the double-layered crotch. She was just opening the bathroom door while scratching her breast when Asuka walked by with a bucket of bathing supplies tucked underneath an arm.  
  
"G'morning Capt. Katsuragi."  
  
"G'mornin' Asuka." She entered and stripped down, tossing her underclothing into the hamper. After soaking for a good long time, then stepping out feeling refreshed, she noticed that Shinji's familiar washing hamper had disappeared, leaving her underclothing on the blue tile floor. As she tried to fathom when the bathroom tiles changed color, she noticed that her drying rack was gone as well. Shrugging, she picked up her clothing then shuffled back to her room, still mulling that thought in her head.   
  
As her foot entered the room, the first thing she noticed were no beer cans strewn across the floor. Assuming that Shinji cleaned her room the previous night and thanking her lucky stars that her special 'toys' were safe in her closet where he never looked, she picked up her bottle of gin from under the desk. Thus it came as a surprise to her when it turned out to be a very nice cognac. Shrugging again and not willing to go without being at least partially inebriated, she finished off the bottle and wiped her chin with her arm, burping loudly. She brushed off her clothes from the previous night, dressed, then left the room again.  
  
"Ya want any breakfast?" Asuka and Ranma were sitting at the kitchen table, fried fish, miso soup, rice, and pickles set before them. A third place was set as well.  
  
Misato staggered into the room, waved half-heartedly at her co-workers, and opened the refrigerator. Three doors, not two; one full of food, one full of drinks, and the last full of alcohol. Her mind still in a hangover haze, she simply thought that Shinji bought a new refrigerator. She'd have to talk to him about not spending her money so frivolously, that was money she could be spending on better snacks and quality alcohol. Popping the top off a can, Misato drank the beer with her full morning haste. After a satisfying burp, she looked around again, this time with conscious eyes.  
  
She continued to look from Ranma to Asuka to the space where Pen-Pen's fridge usually sat. Then she turned to look back into the blue tiled bathroom. She continued to look from one to another for two more minutes, her mind still hiccuping on the logic of her situation. Ranma and Asuka were simply sitting and drinking coffee and tea respectively when Shinji walked in the door, carrying a plastic bag of vegetables. Ranma motioned him to put it down and eat. He did so. Misato noticed that Shinji just walked in, and frowned. That wasn't right at all...Shinji should have been here from the start and Ranma and Asuka should have walked in, there was something really-...oh.   
  
"WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?!?!"  
  
"Uh, Ranma picked you up from the bar down the street, you'd fallen down. He offered to cook breakfast for all of us too." Shinji sat down with another setting, gestured to a seat, one which an incoherent Misato couldn't help but take. "Are you hungry?"  
  
"Yeah...I'm in Ranma's apartment?" All she received were stares from her hosts, stares which seemed to ask 'you just figured that out?' Shinji shook his head then whispered something into Ranma's ear. "I think I'm gonna need another beer." One was already in front of her thanks to Shinji's morning ritual which consisted of: Wake up, wash, wake up Misato, make breakfast, feed Pen-Pen, wake Misato, eat, set beer on table, wake Misato. Her shaking fingers grabbed the can of beer, German beer by the smell and not Yebisu, guzzled the beverage and let out a rousing belch. Asuka looked at her with one eye larger than the other, appalled that Misato could ever have been tactical operations chief. Shinji simply ate. With reluctance and no small bit of embarrassment, Misato began to eat.  
  
"Don't worry about the beer Shinji, I always keep a lot in the house, Asuka knows how she gets after drinking. And I think I can handle my alcohol." Ranma finished in record time and sat around, making small talk. "So synch tests are today, hmm? How exactly do they do them around here?"  
  
"We're put in an entry plug, then run through a Eva simulator. Sometimes Dr. Akagi makes us take 'special tests' meaning we take them nude." Shinji sipped his soup and finished the fish. "Wow Ranma that was really goo-"  
  
"We have to what!" Asuka's cry startled all around her, even Misato who was wondering how her clothes had come off last night. "I'm not taking a synch test naked, no way! It's bad enough they take so long anyway but to sit in there naked for two hours? I refuse!" She stormed out the door, headed for parts unknown.  
  
"Don't worry about her, she sometimes gets like that. Let her cool down and she'll be fine by the time we get to headquarters." Ranma polished off his second helping and washed the dishes, playfully splashing Misato with cold water to wake her from her trance. "Anything wrong Misato? You seem a bit _cold_ today." He laughed at his own joke.  
  
"If you brought me here, why'd you take off my clothes?! Did you think just because I'm drunk you can take advantage of me? Huh?" She was ripping mad now, her breasts jouncing up and down with every breath. Veins popped out from her forehead, and an angry snarl began at the back of her throat. Even Ranma was scared. "To think I actually though you were a nice guy! To think I thought you were cute! To think I was fantasizing about your ass! What the hell was I thinking?" Ranma and Shinji were wise enough to blush at her last three statements, knowing that if she were in the right frame of mind she'd never have said them.  
  
"Wait just a minute Misato! Let me explain!" Ranma reached forward to grab hold of an arm, accidentally grabbing hold of something far more sensitive. He froze up like a deer in the headlights, premonitions of history repeating itself came to mind.  
  
"You...you...you, I'm so angry right now I can't think of anything to say!" She threw a punch, her fist a blur, which had the delightful (to her) result of Ranma being embedded in the far wall. She threw her chair back under the table and made way for the door. Grabbing the manual lock, she slammed the door, drawing a wince from the two males present.  
  
"She'll be back." Ranma pried himself out of the indentation, turning his attention back to the dishes. Misato was acting too pertinacious for her own good, luckily he had NERV security install cameras in his hallways. He had left the bedroom door open when he'd put her down last night. "I wouldn't worry about that." He said with a secretive smile.  
  
"How can you be sure?" Shinji was genuinely intrigued, how did he know? Was it some kind of extra-sensory perception? Just then the door slid open slowly. Purple hair sprouted from the crack.  
  
"I...kinda forgot my keys, Shinji would you open the door?" Ranma allowed himself a smug smile, not unlike another member of NERV.  
  
---Pribnow Box, Central Dogma. Several hours later---  
  
"Anyhow Ranma, when'd you sign up for NERV?" Misato was over at Ritsu's desk watching the pilot's synch-tests. The omnipresent coffee carafe sat by her side. "It didn't have any start date in your records."" This surprised her. Usually NERV employees records had some kind of start date, in fact only Gendo Ikari, Kouzou Fuyutsuki, and Rei had no record of their beginnings. To not have one meant either you were involved before NERV was formed or you were so important your files were wiped. Somehow she doubted the latter.  
  
Picking an empty coffee cup (the one without dancing cats on it) he emptied the remainder of the carafe, carefully placing it back under the coffeemaker for a refill. "I didn't really sign-up. I was with the Katsuragi Expedition during Second Impact as a computer technician assistant to Dr. Katsuragi, whom I assume was your father?"  
  
"Uh...yes." She fiddled with her white cross.  
  
"I was one of the only survivors, aside from you I guess. Funny, that, I never heard that his daughter survived...anyway after that I worked for GEHIRN, then NERV." He took a sip from his cup, blanched, then spit it out all over the floor. "What the hell is this!?!?" The fluid in his cup was unlike any lifeform encountered by the foolish man, it was thick, almost a viscous. "What is..._this_?!?!"  
  
"Um...it's called coffee, you ever had any?" Misato watched as his face went blue, then red, then green, then back to blue before settling on a pasty white. "What's wrong?" She sipped her cup, nothing seemed wrong with it in her mind.  
  
"N-nothing...it kinda reminds me of stuff my fiancŽe...er...someone I know used to make." He dropped his cup on the floor, hastily kicking it under a console. "I t-think I'll just make my own...heh heh!" He walked across the room whistling nonchalantly and left for a moment before returning with a cup of coffee from the break-room two doors down.  
  
"So you were there with my father, huh?"  
  
"I remember that day very well. Your father was a very brave man. He sacrificed his own life for you." Ranma sipped at his cup. If Misato didn't want to remember their meeting in the docking bay it was fine with him, she probably had nightmares still...  
  
"Who's your fiancŽe? Apparently she can't cook worth a damn." She grew a mischievous grin. Ranma's face grew ashen, his eyes turning down, penetrating deep into the murky depths of his coffee cup. Akane had died fifteen years previous, he had mourned for her in his own way. For better or worse he had dealt with his own personal ghosts, no matter how destructive they had been in life, and knew that what he was doing now was for the overall good of mankind. "Someone I know?"  
  
"No...she was killed in Second Impact." She immediately apologized, stammering out her condolences. Ranma bounced back, albeit not to the level of gaiety as he previously displayed. "No, it's alright. It was a long time ago, I've gotten over her ghost." Suddenly an orange slime creature attached itself to his waist. "Aaahhh!!! Jeez Asuka! Did ya hafta get me covered in LCL?" The Second Child grinned impishly and wrapped her legs around his, covering his pants in the slimy fluid as well before Dr. Akagi walked in with a towel.  
  
"Aw c'mon Ranma! I'm just happy to see my guardian!" She threw the towel over her shoulders and pinched his ass, drawing a startled yelp from the recipient. "See ya!" She ran laughing from the room.  
  
"Remind me to tell her that pinching her guardian's rear is not acceptable behavior." He deadpanned, rubbing the seat of his pants.  
  
"Did you hear that Shinji-kun?" Misato cast a withering glance at her charge.  
  
"Wh-what!? I-I-I never did anything like that!" He sputtered.  
  
Ranma smiled brightly, catching on to Misato's playful nature. "Then why are you blushing? Taking advantage of your poor, defenseless guardian? I never thought you'd stoop to that Shinji, I'm ashamed of you!" He turned his back to the pilot.  
  
"Ranma! I never did anything like that!" Misato began laughing, slamming a fist on the console, and spilling coffee over the nearby technician. Ranma chuckled a bit, watching Maya and Ritsuko giggle in the corner. Nothing could save Shinji from the hazing for the rest of the day.  
  
---NERV Laboratory, level 66. An hour later---  
  
Ritsuko rarely ever analyzed the synch test results herself anymore. Maya had taken over many of her simple duties as Gendo piled more and more complicated DNA work on their department. Rei's monthly physical examinations were the only rudimentary task she bothered herself with any longer. With her assistant already finishing off the results, Ritsu turned to a more pressing matter Gendo had differed to her.  
  
Scanning another ream of DNA patterns from the printer, Ritsuko circled the missing codon pattern in red pen, then called up that particular strand on her holomonitor. Ranma's test results were becoming increasingly more alarming the further she delved into his genetic structure, not only did his genome match that of the fifth Angel but he was also the most fertile man on the planet! His physical endurance not withstanding he was a font of new brain twisting puzzles for her to investigate. She'd have to ask him about a few...intriguing...results she'd culled from his sperm samples.  
  
The monitor beside her beeped in alarm as the MAGI completed analysis on his blood sample. Nothing out of the ordinary save a higher concentration of white blood cells than normal, not all that surprising considering his abilities. Her brow furrowed, her glasses sliding down her nose. The results showed strange chemicals in his urine sample. Berries and herbs seemed to make the bulk of the anomaly, nothing truly surprising, fitness drinks were becoming popular again. Her fingers flew across the keys as the MAGI began a scan of the components in the mixture. Soma berries, Ceylon tea leaf extract, gimmer root, nothing out of the ordinary. She leaned back in her chair, gently rubbing the bridge of her nose. She cursed under her breath, bringing up a holoscreen with the footage from Ranma's physical.  
  
"What're you looking at sempai?" Maya's head popped up at her shoulder, her eyes bugging as Ranma began to disrobe. "Again sempai? That's the fifth time you've watched his tape! Haven't you had enough?" Blushing furiously, Ritsu shut the window, turning to her assistant with a glare.  
  
"Have you finished the synch test results?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then take them down to the debriefing room! We don't have all day!" She turned angrily in her seat, Maya's hurried footfalls echoing off the steel walls. As soon as she was sure Maya was away, she reopened the window to the moment she left, watching as he gave his final sample for analysis. Growing more hot every moment, and looking around to check if Maya might have left something she'd have to return for, Ritsuko began taking off her lab coat.  
  
Maya, who crept back to the laboratory, pressed her ear to the metal wall, hearing her sempai's activities. Sighing in exasperation, she proceeded to the debriefing room, grumbling all the way.  
  
---Debriefing room #6, NERV level 26---  
  
Maya stood next to Ranma as Misato read the results of the pilot's synch tests. Commander Ikari and Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki were off at a UN conference in Sweden. Apparently NERV's actions during the Jet Alone fiasco constituted an affront to UN procedures, never mind that they had averted a nuclear disaster, Ranma was in practical command of NERV in their absence. Attendance suffered as he offered the employees their vacation days which had accumulated since NERV's creation.  
  
"Shinji your synch ratio had grown by 3% giving you a steady rate of 36%." Misato patted him condescendingly on the head as he grumbled something about Asuka distracting him. She turned next to Rei.  
  
"Rei your synch rose 1%, giving you a ratio of 40%. Asuka you have the highest synch ratio at a steady 59%! You should all be very proud!" Asuka cheered, jumping at Ranma, who dodged her attempts at a glomp, giggling and shouting her praise.  
  
"See! See! I told you I was the best!" She had grabbed her guardian's arm, pulling onto his limb fiercely. Crooning madly, she completely missed Ranma's embarrassed gaze in Misato's direction, in the process also missing Misato's understanding smile back. The newly demoted tactical operations commander dismissed the group giving them the rest of the day off. Ranma turned to follow his charge out when Misato stopped him.  
  
"Ranma?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Ritsuko, Maya and I would like to invite you to our NERV bridge crew poker party at my place tonight, the Children will be there too, so don't worry about Asuka." Misato fidgeted with the red leather straps dangling from her officer's coat, her black one-piece dress pulled taut over her washboard stomach. Well, her _almost_ washboard stomach. Her face seemed to betray a small amount of anticipation.  
  
"Alright. I'll see you around eight then?" He flashed her a crooked smile, buttoning her right breast pocket on her coat. "I like my staff to be perfectly dressed," he pushed the clasp of his tunic coat, "especially when it gives me an opportunity to reprimand such a lovely officer." He bent conspiratorially towards her. "Misato?"  
  
"What?" Her ears were red from their close proximity.  
  
"Is the party BYOB or are you providing the drinks?" He grinned like the Cheshire cat.  
  
"Stupid lousy jerk! You'll never let me live that _one_ time down will you!?!"  
  
"Nope. It's just such good embarrassing blackmail material." He slapped her on the back, not noticing her angry red aura. "Besides, I really liked the strip show you gave me!"  
  
The aura died down, her face instead sporting a dangerous grin and a vein bulged grotesquely from her forehead. "Oh d-did you?" She turned to regard him, her eyes flat and a pointed canine poking out from her lip. "Well, then, we'll just see who gets drunk first tonight...or are you afraid of me?"  
  
He frowned, no one ever called him a coward not even his family. Grasping Misato's hand like a vise, all while grinning like an idiot, he firmly shook it twice. "I accept your challenge! The loser has to strip naked in front of the rest of us."  
  
"Hey wait a minute! That wasn't part of the deal!"  
  
"Sorry, we already shook on it, 'guess those are the rules!" He turned to leave, waving behind him.  
  
"Alright! You're on!" She called as the doors opened before him. "See you tonight then. I'll buy the beer."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Fine." Misato snorted at his retreating form, already walking towards the door where Asuka waited impatiently. She had planned on hitting the mall, he planned on hitting the couch. The life of a NERV guardian has both peaks and pitfalls, Ranma was going to experience both.  
  
As the cold metallic clang of the doors echoed through the corridor, Asuka clinging to his arm, Ranma smirked a bit. Then laughed ever so softly, Asuka worried for his sanity. "It's nothing Asuka, just something Capt. Katsuragi said today. By the way, we're invited to her house tonight for a little party."  
  
"A party? Really? This is gonna be so much fun!"  
  
"Glad to see you're getting along so well with the other Children, but I thought you were going to 'show that Third Child who's the best?'" He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, making sure to avoid the personnel walking through the halls. "I mean, you've killed one Angel to his three, I guess you're really not the best." He knew just what buttons to push.  
  
"That's nothing! I have a higher synch ratio _and_ I've killed that Angel single-handedly. He's only killed those three with outside help!" She balled her hands into fists, vowing that someway or another, she would topple Shinji from his throne. Not too hard of course, he _was_ kind of cute...   
  
As Asuka continued to berate herself for her weakness, Ranma's thoughts returned to Misato. She was alright he guessed, if just a tad confrontational. Well, he'd just have to teach her a little humility. But first...  
  
...First he had a pile of paperwork to go through as acting commander. Asuka pulled on his arm as he flagged and walked around him, pushing him forward with both hands. She certainly didn't want Ranma entertaining any thoughts about Captain Katsuragi...or Dr. Akagi, or Lt. Ibuki, or Sgt. Watanabe...  
  
Back in the debriefing room, Misato began to chuckle, the gentle laughter causing her shoulders to tremble ever so slightly. Shinji began backing away until his back in the wall, the dried LCL in his hair crinkling with the contact. When Misato had that mischievous gleam in her eye, Shinji began to get very worried indeed. The last time she'd looked at him that way Touji almost had a heart-attack, a hormonally charged teen boy seeing the tactical operations drunk in her bra and panties could do that.   
  
She would beat Ranma at this, this was where she really shined! Well, it wasn't the best thing to be good at, actually it was more than a little unhealthy but she would win, and that's all that mattered. Turning back to her own Child, Misato fixed him with a dangerous grin. "C'mon Shinji, I need you to help me at the liquor store." Few words spelled doom in Misato's care quite like 'liquor store,' well maybe that and 'cooking,' but it would take Ranma a little while before he realized that.  
  
Shinji groaned, knowing all too well the fateful hand dealt to him.  
  
---To be continued---  
  
Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton  
Skaiton@netscape.net 


	4. Chapter Four

---Title---  
  
Evangelical History-Chapter 4  
A Ranma/Evangelion crossover  
By Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton  
(Skaiton@netscape.net)  
  
---Fujisawa's 24 hour liquor store---  
  
"Bwah ha ha ha ha! C'mon in Capt. Katsuragi! How's my best customer been lately?" A tall man with a ragged mop of black hair and unshaven face greeted her from the door. "You haven't been in for Yebisu for two weeks! I was getting' worried ya know!" A cigarette wavered on the edge of his lips.  
  
"I'm fine Mr. Fujisawa, I just had some work to do." Misato was dressed in her red captain's jacket, sleeve straps undone, practically salivating at the sheer expanse of alcohol before her. "Do you have my cases in?" Shinji stood embarrassed beside her.  
  
"Sure, sure I've got 'em! Why Capt. Katsuragi I've been able to expand the store, buy a new house _and_ a new car because of your business! Have a free case of gin on the house!" The man chortled insanely for a little while longer, then burst into laughter when Misato brought her order up to the counter. "What're ya planning ta do with all this? Kill the rest of the world by alcohol poisoning?" He laughed again at his own joke.  
  
"Nope. Just a little party for a few co-workers." She failed to mention that all her friends drank like fish. "I'll also need chips, tako-yaki, margarita salt, and some of those little red cherries..."  
  
"Maraschino cherries." Shinji looked around with jaw agape, it would take ten strong men to even lift a third of her order. Here was God's plenty alright: three bottles of gin, two bottles of scotch, two whiskey, five bottles of brandy, three casks of inexpensive sake, twelve cases of Yebisu, one case of an as of yet undisclosed German lager, and two bottles of vodka. The store-owner grinned from ear to ear as he began ringing her colossal order up. "The total, minus the free cases of Yebisu and your own thirty percent discount comes to..."  
  
Shinji fainted dead away as the owner finished his sentence, never in all his life would he see so much money change hands at once. A suitcase of money was handed to the man behind the counter; grinning eagerly, the man shoved the case underneath the counter and gave Misato her receipt. Promising the order would be delivered in thirty minutes or her order was free, the store-keeper waved goodbye to his favorite customer/cash cow. Hell, he could afford the shipping fee and her large discount, with the amount of business she gave him every week he could afford to be generous. Besides, it might convince her to buy more. The owner secretly giggled at the prospect.  
  
Outside, Shinji was far from a giggling mood. Struggling to keep three overstuffed bags worth of octopus puffs, chips and several pounds of colored salt was quite a task for a ninety-pound weakling. Add to that the prospect of driving home with all the snacks with Misato behind the wheel and it was enough to contemplate the futility of life. At least she'd let him rent a movie to watch with Rei and Asuka during the party.  
  
---Misato's apartment---  
  
Misato slid open the bathroom doors and swung into the kitchen, steam rising from her damp hair. A yellow towel was draped across her shoulders as Shinji sulked at the table, embarrassed by his guardian's modesty, or lack there of. The alcohol had arrived right on schedule, a complementary ice-chest included by the owner. It currently sat next to the first ice-chest, plugged into the wall and cooling those sacred bottles of fermented ambrosia. Shinji thought his roommate's preoccupation with liquor was sort of funny in the beginning, now with three 'complementary' refrigerators aside from her own stocked-up liquor cabinet meant the hobby was now an obsession.  
  
"Misato-san? Is it really necessary to have _this_ much alcohol at once?" She gave him a flat eyed stare, a nervous twitch developing on her left eye. Images of the bridge crew finding his strangled body preserved in a vat of liquor came into his mind for no reason whatsoever, well, that and the overwhelming feeling he may have hit a nerve.  
  
"What are you saying Shinji-_kun_?" Are you saying I'm going to lose this bet? Are you saying you want to see your kind, friendly, _non_violent guardian stripped naked so she can dance around for the amusement of the entire bridge crew? To be heckled and taunted for the rest of her days because she lost one bet!? Is that what you're saying?" Shinji backed into a corner, looking vainly for an escape route, a baseball bat, or a club, anything to stave off his murderous guardian.  
  
"What bet? W-what are you talking about?" His hand wrapped around a long kitchen knife which he hid behind his back, hoping against hope that he wouldn't have to use it on his _non_violent guardian.  
  
"I bet Ranma told everyone about it! That slime-sucking baka!" She posed dramatically in front of the sink, fist held high in the air, still clad only in a skintight sports bra and short shorts. "Shinji! You and I will prevail over that drunken fool!" Shinji sweatdropped before falling to the floor as Pen-Pen opened his refrigerator door. "He has the nerve to take over my job, convert Ritsu and Maya, _and_ flaunt his nice ass around me! I'll drink him bottle for bottle, shot for shot, swig for swig, and see him bare-ass naked before the night is through!"  
  
Shinji recovered enough to hear his guardian's final phrase, before fainting again at the idea. It seemed Misato let more and more things slip these past few days. "Um...Misato? He really didn't take your job, he's just higher than you in terms of rank. You're still allowed on the bridge and everything." He shivered as she turned to him, eyes flaming with the napalm of envy. "Uh...that is to say, Ranma isn't really so bad, it's not like he wanted your job, father just gave it to him."  
  
It would be a startling transformation for anyone other than Misato, for at that moment her grimace turned to a smile, her slit-like eyes turning into little pink hearts. "Your right, Shinji. Ranma is my superior and more importantly my friend, he wouldn't willingly hurt me." Her thoughts turn back to his lack of improper behavior the previous night and the surveillance camera tapes of his apartment last night. He'd had them installed to keep Asuka out of his bedroom. "Of course that doesn't mean I still won't drink him under the table."  
  
Shinji sighed at the futility of it all before being dragged to the cooler by a giddy Misato. Rubbing her hands together and grinning in an almost obscene way, she lifted the door from the hinge, listening to the crackle of the thin layer of frost over the walls and bottom of the refrigerator. Inside were the cases of Yebisu and the German lager she'd apparently bought for no good reason. "Look at this Shinji, this is quite possibly the strongest beer made in the world today, I can't even drink more than three cans before passing out." This said a lot as Misato could consume more than a case of Yebisu during the day, augmented by gin, water, soda and coffee. "When Ranma and I start drinking, you give him the German lager while I drink the Yebisu. I'll win the bet before long and watch as Ranma is laughed out of NERV by the bridge crew!"  
  
"So you're great plan is to cheat?!? Isn't that kinda...dishonest? Not to mention disrespectful to the acting commander?" Shinji closed the cooler and returned to the never-ending task of crushing twenty pounds of ice.  
  
"All's fair in love and war, Shinji. Besides, I looked up his records - well, what I could find - and found that he drinks a lot too." Shinji began thinking that Misato had found her soul-mate but derailed that line of thinking as the doorbell rang. "Will you get that Shinji? I have to get the rest of the ice."  
  
Walking to the door, Shinji visibly shuddered, turning slowly to see Misato laying two more blocks of ice on the counter. Hoping that it was Ranma so he could have some help crushing the ice, Shinji opened the door. "Who is it?"  
  
"Hi, Shinji! Is Asuka around?" Hikari Horaki poked her head in through the door, her brown hair swaying with the breeze outside. "I tried to get her at the apartment but there's no answer, do you know where she's gone?"  
  
"No, she's supposed to be coming over here soon. Why don't you just stay here and wait? I could use some help crushing this ice." Shinji let her in, shocked to see the class representative in anything other than her school uniform, in its stead she wore a yellow blouse with a pair of slacks. She'd seem out of place anyway with her school clothes on.  
  
"Well she actually invited me to come anyway to see this knockout guardian of hers," She frowned slightly as she thought of the great age difference, "I really don't see what the fuss is all about."  
  
"You will, you will. Ranma's anything but what you expect." He heard Misato scream from the kitchen.  
  
"Shinji! Get y'er butt in here and help crush this ice!"  
  
Sighing, he dragged Hikari with him as the doorbell rang once more. Turning back to the still open door, he found no one outside. Peering out and looking around the corner he called out. "Ritsuko? Kaji? Ranma? Asuka? Rei? Anybody there?" The balcony was empty. Whoever had rung the bell was long gone. Only a pleasantly warm evening for Tokyo-3 greeted him at the door.  
  
Ranma quietly opened the door and slipped inside from the night with Asuka tucked snugly under an arm, feeling slightly guilty at playing such a sneaky trick on Shinji. As the bewildered boy stood scratching his head in the doorway, Ranma snickered as Asuka jumped on his back, drawing such a scream of surprise from the tall male that Misato came storming out of the kitchen with an unopened can of beer pulled back in one hand.  
  
"What's going on here?!? Shinji? Asuka? Ranma?" She noticed Ranma laughing as Asuka playfully jabbed at Shinji, whose browbeating experience for the night was far from over. "So you finally came?"  
  
Ranma turned serious as he felt the competitive aura spring up around the room. "Yeah, I did. You don't know what you're getting yourself into do you?"  
  
"I know that you had a reputation in NERV's German branch as a heavy drinker," she replied matter-of-factly, "but I'll still win this bet and see you humiliate yourself!" She tossed the can of Yebisu to him, a haughty smirk cracking across her otherwise beautiful face.  
  
"I seem to recall several incidents of "drunken behavior on duty" marring your service profile Misato-chan. Three cases of slurred speech, two incidents where you collapsed and had to be taken to the infirmary, and one gross mistake of smashing into the Commander's car while driving under the influence; all of these incidents show that you cannot hold your liquor." The smirk fell off her face as easily as butter slides off a hot griddle. Ranma chugged the can and tossed it back to her, his unspoken challenge hanging in the air. Outside a car skidded to a halt, disgorging its two occupants onto the sidewalk.  
  
Misato growled at her opponent before retreating to the kitchen to do battle with the massive ice blocks melting on her counters. Shinji wisely avoided Asuka until Rei could come, deciding that she would be far too dangerous without backup.  
  
Back down on the cool street, the two occupants of the aforementioned car began the slow trek up the stairs to Misato's apartment. Halfway up the hard concrete, they encountered the you pilot of EVA Unit 00, Rei Ayanami, and continued up the stairs. As their heads crested the balcony, one could see clearly now that the two interlopers were none other than Dr. Ritsuko Akagi and her assistant Maya Ibuki. The pair gestured to Rei, who leaned forward to ring the bell just as Misato's head burst from the door.  
  
"Where the hell have you been?!? I've been waiting for an hour! We need you to judge!" Her purple mane fell in a loose ponytail down her back, a cascading waterfall of shimmering hair that Ranma thought strangely beautiful. "You're the only one I can count on to stay sober the whole night!"  
  
"I've only been here for two minutes and you already want to start?" Ranma came from the kitchen in full view, dragging Asuka along behind him. The only reason he hadn't pushed her away so far was the little matter of her previous reaction to finding a naked Vice-Tactical Operations officer draped over his bed.  
  
---Flashback---  
  
Asuka, rarely a morning person, trudged out of her room and stumbled into the kitchen, dodging Ranma's kata on the way. It was their typical morning routine: he would perform katas in the livingroom while she would make the coffee in the morning. Switching the coffeemaker on, she yawned and wandered off to the bathroom, leading her straight down to Ranma's open door.  
  
Asuka's hand grasped the handle, her other scratching an idle itch in the small of her back, and randomly gazed into his room. Or rather at a half-naked woman tossing around in the linens. The nearly nude woman lay on her back with her feet pointing directly at Asuka, and that view combined with an itch in an inappropriate place and the corresponding motion of the strange woman's hand; seemed mocking to the red-haired girl. Snapping the plastic handle off the sliding door, her eyes glazed over red and she stamped off for divine retribution.  
  
"RANMA!!! Where are you!?!" She stormed right up to his face, his punches barely missing her body as he blithely continued his kata with her in the centre of his motions. "How could you take this...this...this WHORE into your bed!?!" She defiantly shot a finger towards his room, where the woman was once more cuddled up to his pillows. "I thought you were different from other men but it seems you're just interested in one thing, the thing dangling between your legs!!!" She grabbed his arm and screamed as the arm shot back towards his body as his other hand tossed her back onto the couch.  
  
"Listen Asuka, nothing happened, I found her drunk at the bar last night."  
  
"So you just decided to take advantage of her you pig!"  
  
"No! She pulled off her clothes herself during the night, I've been sleeping on the couch." He pointed to the light blanket draped over the seat. "Believe me! Nothing happened!"  
  
Asuka gave him a flat-eyed stare, crossing her arms under her budding breasts, then tilted her head back and sighed. "Alright, I believe you Ranma." He sighed in relief. "But I haven't forgiven you, so you have to take me out tonight. Dinner, that's it." He sighed again in defeat, muttering a grudging affirmative. "So who is she anyway? She's got a great body."  
  
"Capt. Katsuragi."  
  
"_Our_ Capt. Katsuragi? Drunk? Naked in your bed?" Somehow she couldn't place the image of the sub-commanding officer, drunk and in the lewd poses she was currently enjoying in Ranma's bed.  
  
"It's kinda routine for her, her records show numerous occasions where she was intoxicated on duty, don't let it surprise you." Ranma strolled off into the kitchen. "I asked Shinji to come over, no sense in him cooking for himself, besides, I told him Misato slept here last night." He tied an apron around his waist and fried a few fish, checking to see if the soup and rice were done yet. "The coffee done yet?"  
  
Asuka knocked herself on the head for forgetting her duty, and poured him a cup, eagerly eating up his praise and thanks. Although somewhere in her head she knew he was doing it out of guilt.  
  
---End Flashback---  
  
"Uh? Some help here?" Shinji called from the kitchen, trying to wrench Pen-Pen away from the melting blocks of ice. "Misato? Ranma? Asuka?" The group heard Shinji and Hikari using spoons to pry the avian's claws out of the ice, the harsh chipping causing Misato to wince in expectation of the disaster.  
  
"I guess _I'll_ be the one to help them." Ranma brushed past Misato, purposefully hitting her shoulder, and patted Rei on the head in greeting. "Hi, Rei. Now! What's this about ice?"  
  
Ritsuko dragged Misato aside as Maya introduced herself to the students. "What the hell do you think you're doing? You realize that news of this 'contest' of yours is all over HQ? The parking attendants were talking about it!" Her anger grew as Misato carelessly threw caution to the wind, refusing to back down. "If the commander hears anything about what happens tonight, which I'm sure he will, I'd start writing a letter of resignation." Her blond hair frazzled, Ritsuko followed Ranma into the kitchen for a drink.  
  
---The Tokyo-3 monorail #22---  
  
"So what is the background of the new Major?"  
  
"He came from Germany, he's been stationed all over the world overseeing NERV's interests. He has friends in high places, which is the reason for the less-than-adequate amount of data I've compiled this time." Kaji sat opposite an older woman whose face was hidden behind a fashion magazine. The car was empty, the handles over their heads swinging cryptically with the hypnotic jostling of the train. "His friends stopped my inquires."  
  
"You getting scared off? I find that rather hard to believe."  
  
"Believe it, Saotome may be a friend in the chairman of the Instrumentality committee himself."  
  
"Kihl? I doubt it, he never lets anyone close to him."  
  
"That's just the thing, Saotome's not normal. I hacked into Dr. Akagi's files and found that Saotome is far beyond the normal human in almost every respect." Kaji gathered his jacket and tie from the seat, seeing as his station was coming up soon.  
  
"He could be one of the old Genetics, you know, the kind made before Second Impact. That kind of evidence supports nothing."  
  
"True, but he also survived Second Impact without a scratch."  
  
"So did half the world."  
  
"He was with the Katsuragi Expedition, the unpublicized second survivor. The 'lost' records of GEHIRN list him as a technician but all other documents were changed by SEELE before he made his miraculous appearance." He slipped a black jacket on, making sure to check if the safety was on his handgun. "The 'official' story was that he was carried by waves and currents and deposited off the coast of Japan, unharmed."  
  
"Alright, there may be something of substance here, follow it up." The woman stood up along side him as their stop approached. "The gondola, one in the afternoon. My superiors expect more than this report."  
  
"Alright then, one it is, as always it has been a pleasure."  
  
"Flattery will get you nowhere in life."  
  
---Misato's bedroom---  
  
Ranma slid the door closed and made sure no recording devices were in the room. He withdrew his laptop from the mountain of coats on her bed, booting up the file marked: 'SUSSERTOD.exe.' The front of the computer slid open to reveal a set of earphones and a thin visor, he pulled a mouthpiece from his jacket. After everything was jacked in, he depressed a small button off to the side.  
  
The room disappeared and was replaced with a dark chamber illuminated by lit concentric circles. The chamber was vast and the unnatural quality of the lights blended to give it an eerie cast. At once a monolith labeled 'SEELE 01' appeared.  
  
SEELE 01:Why have you kept me waiting? I demand an explanation!  
  
"I am at Captain Katsuragi's apartment, I could not separate myself so easily from the group without arousing suspicion."  
  
SEELE 01:Your explanation is...acceptable. For now. The seventh has appeared, it will land in Japan in two days.  
  
"I remember the plan, don't worry."  
  
SEELE 01:When the dust settles and the Angels have been defeated, only we two will understand the grandeur of the event.  
  
"I understand. I will be prepared." Ranma replaced his equipment and shut his laptop down. He heard Misato's laugh as Shinji and Hikari slipped on the puddles of ice water and skidded out into the livingroom, he cursed his destiny but it seemed for better or worse, he'd do the best he could.  
  
---To be continued---  
  
As always, C&C, flames to:  
Suekeiichi Kaiton,   
Holy Scribe and Second Disciple  
The Church of Kasumi and Ranma  
Skaiton@netscape.net 


	5. Chapter Five

---Title---  
  
Evangelical History-Chapter 5  
A Ranma 1/2 - Evangelion fusion  
By Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton  
(Skaiton@netscape.net)  
  
---Misato's bedroom---  
  
Ryouji Kaji slipped through the door quietly and tip-toed towards the huddled mass of blankets in the centre of the room. His breathing was irregular and he unconsciously swallowed before kneeling at the side of her futon, his fingers itching to be given free reign. If the insensate Misato was anything but...well, insensate...she gave no sign. A long cylindrical object was withdrawn from his pants and an insane giggle escaped his lips. His fingers were twiddling in anticipation. Hesitantly he began to lift the covers to reveal Misato curled fetal in a loose tank-top and pink cotton panties. Giving into his itching fingers, Kaji moved forward, the object held firmly in one hand...  
  
---Misato's apartment, living room---  
  
Ranma awoke to a glass of icy water dripping down his face. Asuka's usual method for waking him up after he'd been drinking, he remembered. Blinking back droplets of liquid he focused on the ceiling and remembered where he was, on Misato's couch. Sitting up and checking to see that he hadn't changed, he looked up at Asuka bleary-eyed. She seemed to be screaming something. She screamed again, this time directly in his ear, which had the painful result of jumpstarting a wicked hangover clanging in his skull. Clutching his head, he grasped the empty plastic glass from her hands and threw it in anger at the wall where it embedded itself three inches into the steel-reinforced concrete.  
  
He looked around at the fallout from the 'poker' night previous. Misato was presumably still in her room, even as the door was slightly ajar, Ritsuko was curled on the recliner next to him, Hyuga and Shigeru were snoring softly behind the couch, and Maya was curled at Ritsuko's feet. The throbbing was beginning again as his head swam, it would take a particular German lager to do this to him...how Misato procured an entire case of it was beyond his capacity for rational thought at the moment. Asuka was back on his case by that time, prodding him in the head with a 'Hello Kitty' pencil.  
  
"Do you think you could stop that, Asuka?" He lay back down and inwardly wondered what time it was as the sun was high in the sky. Asuka's prodding continued. "Would you please stop that?" He blinked and looked down, realizing for the first time that Asuka was stretched on top of him, quite possibly nude.  
  
A cursory examination revealed that not only was she naked but he was as well, which probably accounted for her Cheshire grin. "How the hell did you get there?" He asked, wariness evident in his voice. She smirked seductively.  
  
"Oh, Ranma, you can't honestly say you forgot about our torrid night of passion, can you? About how you, in a drunken stupor, latched onto my body and used me roughly on the sofa all night long?" His eyes shrunk to mere pinpricks. "About," she leaned in close so he could feel her hot breath against his lips, "your big penis and how it felt penetrating the most secret areas of my body?"  
  
"Get off me, Asuka, you're about _this_ close to crossing the line." He pulled her off and wrapped her in the blanket, setting her down gingerly like an object one has no desire for but knows will accrue value. Unfortunately, as he stood up naked from the couch, Hikari and Rei walked out from Shinji's room. For a single moment the three were frozen in time, each staring wide-eyed at the other. Then Asuka's head popped out from behind the back sofa cushions.  
  
"G'morning Hikari! Told you I'd get lucky!" She stood up and opened the blanket, revealing her naked body. The brunette screamed as she made the association between her new friend's nudity and Ranma's own, his God-given gift hanging out for all to see. Unfortunately again, Hikari's scream awoke most of the women sleeping around the couch and also roused Shinji from his bed in the spare bedroom. Rei made no move but also did not pull her eyes away from the naked acting commander.  
  
"What is it!? HOLY SHIT!" Ritsuko bolted awake at Hikari's scream and kicked Maya awake as well, her eyes passing across the room until Ranma's perfectly rounded buttocks came into view. Her mouth was salivating at the spectacle and she felt her hands reflexively clench. Ranma colored slightly before re-wrapping Asuka in the blanket and picking her up in a fireman's carry, his crotch obscured by the writhing bundle.  
  
"Don't you people have something better to do than stare at your _superior officer?_" He coughed politely into his hand as they averted their eyes, all except Ritsuko who leaned on the armrests of the recliner and ran her eyes over his naked form, clearly enjoying the view. "Ritsuko, could you look the other way for just a moment?" She seemed slow in doing the task as she grinned wide enough to split her face. "NOW!" She straightened and stood up, walking to the kitchen. She needed a cup of coffee or perhaps something a little stronger. "Is anything wrong, Rei?"  
  
"No, Major, I am having difficulty understanding the emotions of this situation." He shook his head in irritation and looked down severely at his charge.  
  
"Why not just forget this ever happen, hmm Rei?" When she hesitantly nodded his smiled. "That's a good girl." He started off towards the door when Misato's scream threw him off-balance.  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?!?" The purple-haired captain stormed out of the bathroom, her hair in disarray and a variety of words and insults drawn on her face in black marker. She rubbed at the marks with her wet hand but they didn't seem to want to come off, instead smudging slightly. "KAJI!!!!!" The spotty-looking man sat in the living room with the now wide-awake Makoto and Aoba, trying to piece together their memories of the past night. As the fiery eyes of righteous feminine fury became directed towards him he began to sweat.  
  
"It's just a joke Katsuragi, a little prank! Don't get all violent on me, okay?"  
  
"NO IT IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT 'OKAY'! Look at my face! It's gonna take forever to get this off!" She began stomping to him, cracking her knuckles, in just her underwear and top. Ranma even boggled that she could be so blind to the world as to give all the male bridge officers a free show.  
  
"Calm down, Katsuragi! It was just a joke!"  
  
"Does this," she pinched her check where 'lush' had been scribbled, "look like a joke to you?" There was a horrific grinding noise of bone on bone and Ryouji Kaji was thrown back against the far wall, impacting with a grunt of pain. "Does that feel like a joke to you?" She turned back in a huff and as such completely overlooked the naked Ranma standing by her arm until he spoke.  
  
"Where did you get that scar? Did you get it during Second Impact?" Asuka was pouting in his arms.  
  
"Yeah I..." She looked at her state of undress and smacked him in the cheek. Misato then retreated into the bathroom again with three cold cans of Yebisu. "PERVERT!" She blurted out before locking the sliding door.  
  
Ranma stood for a few minutes longer before the combined glances of all present began to unnerve him. "What?"  
  
"Uh, Ranma-san, your still...naked." Maya managed to stutter from behind the divider between the kitchen and living room.  
  
"Shit!" He seemed to blur with Asuka in his arms and the apartment door opened and closed almost too fast for all to catch but Ritsuko's eyes widened at his speed. In the span of a few seconds he was back, filling the shimmering void his quick movements left in the flat. Astonishingly he and Asuka, the red-head still in his arms, were fully dressed. The Saotome speed-dressing technique, long thought to have been dead, resurfaced just as he needed it. "Don't you people have anything better to do?"  
  
"No." Came the collective cry.  
  
"Do I have to institute mandatory physical exercise programs for NERV staff?" His eyes hardened as each face in the room had no reaction. He decided to test their resolve, making a play of ticking ideas off his fingers. "Lets see, no eating, reading, talking, mandatory martial arts classes, no alcohol in the vending machines..." He fell flat on his face as a full beer can smashed into his cranium.  
  
"DON'T! YOU! DARE!" Misato, her face several shades darker than normal, slapped him in the face with her wet towel and retreated to her room, muttering about how she was going to make Kaji pay.  
  
"I guess that idea's out." Ranma tossed the offending can at Rei, who merely examined it in curiosity. He casually picked off lint from the cuff of his jumpsuit and brushed the wrinkles out of his pants. Little did any of the staff know that he had secretly employed the Saotome speed bath technique and consequently was fully refreshed and clean. Of course they didn't need to know that...yet. "Well, people, while we're waiting for my subordinate to finish in her room, why don't we have a little breakfast?" A group of stark-white faces looked back at him in terror. "What did I say?"  
  
"E-e-eat? H-here?" Aoba quickly ran into the bathroom and relieved himself of the contents of his stomach, Makoto fainted while the strong women of NERV huddled together on the couch. Ranma sweat-dropped. His head turned to the side only to find Shinji in the corner muttering mantras with juzo beads clasped tight between his hands.  
  
"Fine! Why don't I just cook?" Ranma threw up his hands in exasperation, heading towards the kitchenette and a certain penguin staring at his empty food bowl. "What are you?" He knelt down in front of the penguin and extended a hand. "Put 'er there, pal." Ranma heard Misato's grumbles and the sound of her door slamming shut before any locks of purple hair showed themselves in the hall. He patted the avian on its tufted head before raising to his feet and waving his co-worker a jaunty salute. "Morning."  
  
"Just shut up...my hangover's killing me now and don't think I didn't hear that 'subordinate' comment!" Misato swore under her breath as she pushed past him and into the kitchen for another beer. She still couldn't get rid of the awful bitter taste in her mouth, bitter from what she couldn't say for certain but she did have some ideas... "W-what exactly do you remember from last night?" She sat down with her hair done up in a long ponytail, cross-legged on a stool while guzzling her beer.  
  
"I certainly stayed sober, not that you would have won anyway." Ranma popped the top off a can of juice and sat lazily on the counter, reminding Misato more and more of Kaji, well...the old Kaji. "Not after you started mixing bottles of scotch and gin in the toilet bowl."  
  
Misato blushed furiously as she asked the next question. "...About this bitter taste in my mouth..."  
  
"That's from when you decided that the bottle of Toilet Duck was vodka. Luckily Ritsu managed to get you to vomit it up, caused quite a mess, though, I think." Ranma caught the toast as it flew out of the toaster, one in his mouth, one in the other hand. "Hungry?" Misato's face drained of color. "Guess not, huh?"  
  
"Hey! That was mine!" Ritsuko pulled the second slice from his hand and sat down at the table, buttering the bread.  
  
"Uh no...it's just that I thought the taste was someone's..." If possible her face grew even redder, "Never mind." Misato hurriedly gulped down her drink and ducked out of the room and an even more embarrassing situation. Ranma just finished his toast in peace, trying to ignore Ritsu's expression of longing.  
  
---???---  
  
There existed a room of darkness, an empty void born of the latest technological graphics engine, broken only by sextagonal bars of harsh light. The light in turn defined the conference chamber, cutting the sharp edges of the holo-display board out of the formless night. Suddenly five individuals appeared out of the information superhighway, each one a holographic projection from undisclosed locations around the world and each one a member of the Committee for Human Instrumentality. At the head of the intangible boardroom sat Chairman Lorenz Kihl, old beyond measure, dressed in odd ceremonial robes as the meeting began.  
  
"I believe we can begin now." Clockwise seated around him were the delegates from England, Russia, The United States, and France. Red, green, blue, yellow, and Kihl (who was nondenominational) cast in no hue - these men decided the fate of the world.  
  
"I regret my tardiness, gentlemen, but the UN general assembly is behind schedule." Gendo appeared with Fuyutsuki at the other end facing Kihl. His hands were folded as customary covering his mouth, his tinted lenses oddly dark in the holographic domain.  
  
"We will no longer hold-up these weekly committee meetings because of your absence, Ikari." The old man's cyclopean visor glinted dangerous as his face broke into a snarl. "The Seventh will soon arrive."  
  
"Yes, we will be prepared."  
  
"Don't get cocky, Ikari, you're only here because it's a necessity." The green American gruffly threatened. "With the timetable already behind schedule due to Unit-00's damage as a result of the Fifth's attack..."  
  
"...We cannot afford any more setbacks." The effeminate delegate from France pushed his glasses up higher on his thin nose. "Also, your proposal for automated defense systems is completely out of the question."  
  
"This committee does not exist to fund all of your pipe-dreams, Ikari. We will fund what we believe is necessary...nothing more than that." The blue English delegate scratched his gray beard, eyes staring intently through wide glasses at Gendo's casual indifference.  
  
"NERV was grossly under-funded by the UN at the time of its inception. With the Angels attacking we have to fortify our position. Need I remind you that it was this committee that oversaw NERV's defense budgets? We are merely asking the UN for more realistic funding."  
  
"Threatening our position will do you no good, Ikari. You will do what you can with what you have." Blue responded.  
  
"It is easy to sit back and blithely say that." Fuyutsuki opened his mouth for the first time, gray brow furrowed in annoyance as Gendo placed his hands on the 'table'. "Wait until an Angel breaks through our defenses and obliterates headquarters."  
  
"This bickering will get us nowhere." Kihl leaned forward on his left arm. "Ikari, your defense budget will be increased by twenty-percent over the next three months." The Committee disappeared as the last word left his mouth, taking with them the table and all identifying features of the chamber.  
  
"How can they do this? Don't they realize the expense of running an autonomous defense organization?"  
  
"Of course they do, Fuyutsuki, that is exactly why they're doing this." Gendo resumed his pose, his eyes unreadable from behind the darkened glasses.  
  
"They plan on keeping us weak, subservient."  
  
"Precisely. But we have other hands to play..." Unnoticed by his old friend, the supreme commander's right hand twitched.  
  
---Misato's apartment---  
  
"Yes sir, I understand." Ranma shut his cell-phone and resumed his seat at the coffee table where everyone had gathered after breakfast. Shinji, Rei, Asuka, and Hikari were talking as they washed the dishes in the kitchen and the tell-tale splashes of water echoed back into the main room. Misato was dressed now, garbed in a tight striped tank-top and short blue jean-shorts. Ritsuko wore what she always did, a blue blouse and brown polyester skirt. Ranma was dressed in plain khakis and a blue shirt.  
  
"So what's up?" Misato sipped at a cup of coffee. The ink smears on her face greatly lessened after liberal applications of lotion and toilet paper.  
  
"Commander Ikari was just checking on us. He was under the impression we were in Central Dogma...go figure."  
  
"So what exactly are you planning? We all have our alternates working for the next few days while we get a few vacation days under our belts, what are we doing?" Ritsuko pulled a cigarette from the box in her coat pocket. Shigeru and Hyuga were talking with Kaji off to the side. Ranma simply smiled.  
  
"Well, since we're stuck with the kids, let's ask them. Asuka?" He called out to the kitchen and the red-head appeared in the doorway, wiping her hands on the long shirt he'd dressed her in before, the other three poked their heads out the doorway, curiosity etched into their eager little faces.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your class has a field trip in a few weeks, right?" She looked at him with an eyebrow raised, she was mighty suspicious of this line of questioning...  
  
"Yeah...why?"  
  
"To Okinawa, right?" He crossed his arms and looked down at the fourteen-year old, his crystalline eyes darting to each member of the bridge crew to gauge their level of attention.  
  
"Yeah...I'll ask again, why?"  
  
"You aren't going."  
  
"What!?"  
  
"EVA pilots have to remain on call, that means no travel to locations outside Japan. You'll have to reschedule those diving lessons." The auburn-haired girl seemed to visibly simmer under the weight of her own anger. Her teeth were clenched tight and her hands were balled into fists; Shinji and Hikari were waiting for the inevitable conclusion.  
  
"So you called me out here just to ruin my plans and humiliate me?" Ranma scratched his chin, the action forcing a mirthful smile to grace Misato's lips he observed, and directed his eyes upwards.  
  
"That's just a bonus I guess...but no, that wasn't the reason I called you out here. Asuka, how would you like to go to Okinawa for the weekend?" Makoto and Shigeru's ears perked at the mention of Okinawa, broad vistas of sunny beaches and bikini-clad versions of Ritsuko and Misato dancing in their heads. Kaji wondered just what Ranma was planning, he'd have to speak to Ikari about the newcomer.  
  
"But I just thought you said-"  
  
"Ah! I said you couldn't go in a few weeks, I didn't say we couldn't all go this weekend." Ritsuko barked out an abrupt laugh that quickly turned into a harsh cough as smoke filled her lungs. He smiled down at his charge and patted her affectionately on the head, her small hands reaching up to quickly pull it off, embarrassed to be dismissed as a mere child, especially after what had occurred earlier. "So what do you say?"  
  
"I say HELL YES!" She jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck, swinging to and fro, giggling in happiness.  
  
"You mean we can really go?" Shinji asked, stepping out from the kitchen. "I mean, you are the commander while my father and sub-commander Fuyutsuki are gone, is this alright?"  
  
"Unless anyone here has any better ideas it looks like you kids should start packing now if we're going to take the next ferry." No hands were raised against the proposal, each and every NERV officer aghast that Ranma could so casually leave NERV without its most experienced crew. Still, the lure of vacation time and fun in the sun outweighed their initial misgivings. Besides, Ranma practically ordered them to take a few days off, if anything went wrong they could just blame it on him.  
  
"Is it alright if I invite two of my friends too?" Shinji was standing by the phone. "I mean, if it's alright with you..."  
  
"Sure, the more the merrier!" Ranma laughed a bit at Shinji's awkwardness and realized just how downtrodden the poor boy's self-esteem truly was, the psychological profile didn't do him justice. "Just tell them to pack a swimsuit!"  
  
He turned back to the senior bridge crew and noticed their astonished faces. Kaji was smiling while Makoto seemed on the verge of a heart attack. Shigeru was clutching his heart while pawing at Maya, seemingly overtaken by his stupefaction, the brunette kicking her leg vigorously to wrench it from the COM officer. Misato was cackling on the sofa, her legs crossed atop the coffee table with an upraised coffee, applauding Maya's antics. Ritsuko was simply standing by the open balcony doors, blowing smoke into the sunshine.  
  
"What?"  
  
---To be continued--- 


	6. Chapter Six

---Title---  
  
Evangelical History - Chapter 6  
A Ranma 1/2 - Evangelion fusion  
By Suekeiichi Kaiton  
(Skaiton@netscape.net)  
  
---Okinawa-bound ferry, 6:30 p.m.---  
  
"So where are we heading?" Ritsuko pinched Ranma on the elbow as she settled next to him on the railing of the ferry. Dusk had fallen and the diffuse glow of the deck lanterns spread across the prow. Okinawa could be seen before them, a wide expanse of dense vegetation and rural homesteads, lights dotting the way up a hillock to a much larger structure standing tall atop the bluffs overlooking the beach. Ranma sniffed at the air and smelled the fragrant smoke wafting from her cigarette.  
  
Her hands were laced on the rail as she leaned down and a slim smoke dangled from her fingertips. Her eyes were glued to the luminous island and her glasses hung from the thin cord around her neck. A slight smile graced her ruby lips and the soft spray of salt water rustled through her short blonde hair, the roots of which were clearly brown. Ranma wondered on that for a fraction of a moment but dismissed it as not really his problem. He turned his back to the ocean, the cold metal at his back, and plucked the cigarette from her hands. He blew three rings into the starry sky.  
  
"I have a few friends that own an inn here. I come by a few times a year for a visit."  
  
"Is it alright?"  
  
"It won't cost you anything."  
  
"That wasn't what I meant..."  
  
Ranma flicked the filter out to sea and boosted a new one from his box. He lit it with a minute flare of ki and took a long drag, blowing it out in one cloud and passing it to the polymath genius. "You mean NERV? Don't worry, Commander Ikari gave his go-ahead for a few days of R&R. Just enjoy it, we've got the whole weekend and all of tonight. We'll be there by eight." He turned around and leaned next to her, siding next to her shoulder and brought his face in close. "It's right there, see that hotel at the top of the cliffs?"  
  
"They own that whole complex?"  
  
"Yup!" He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and buffeted her against a sudden cold chill. "You'd better make sure you have everything before we dock." She finished off his cigarette and flicked the stump out into the brine.  
  
"See you when we dock." She brushed her hand through her locks and proceeded below decks.  
  
"How are things, Saotome?" Ranma rolled his eyes at the newcomer and turned back around, noticing for the first time Kaji leaning against the observation binoculars.  
  
"Just fine, Kaji, how's Sergeant Watanabe?" The younger man grimaced and rubbed his back, almost as if favoring some long-healed wounds. "Her nails as long as everyone says?"  
  
"Times two, Saotome, times two." He stalked forward to the railing and stood still next to his superior officer, both smoking casually into the black night. Unbeknownst to either, Misato and Asuka were peeking at them from behind a bulkhead. Across the deck, Shinji, Rei, and Hikari were joking around with Touji and Kensuke. "On the subject of love-lives, it seems you've had a doozy..."  
  
"And just what is that supposed to mean?" Ranma raised an eyebrow and flicked his cigarette into the waves.  
  
"That you get around."  
  
"Oh, that! I get that from my wife all the time."  
  
"Wife?" Kaji's eyes shrunk to pinpricks.  
  
"Don't ask." Ranma waved at the waves. "Continue...just who are you talking about?"  
  
"I won't name names, but it seems that you've left quite a trail on your way up." Misato and Asuka both frowned at that and began to growl. "Doctor Heller and Major Schylling? At the same time as well....tsk, tsk..." Kaji shook his head as if scolding a small child.  
  
"Hey," Ranma replied with a smirk which caused Misato's heart to swoon, "accidents happen. It's not my fault we all were stuck in an elevator for six hours." He shrugged and began walking to the other side to join Shinji and the others.  
  
"Saotome."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just don't break her heart...alright?" Kaji didn't look at Ranma as he spoke, his head tilted to the stars and the diffuse glow of the inn atop the cliff-face. Ranma shrugged while grinning knowingly.  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about."  
  
He walked past the open bulkhead where Misato and Asuka shrunk back at his advance, continuing on to the bow of the large ship where the Children were talking amiably. Shinji seemed far more comfortable among kids his own age than he had among adults, his close friendship with Touji, Kensuke, Rei, and Hikari speaking volumes about his kind nature and agapic concept of friendship. According to the reports, Shinji was the sole individual second only to his father that had coaxed a response from the stoic and unflappable Miss Ayanami.  
  
"Yo, Shinji!" The brown-haired boy looked up and stood up from the bench.  
  
"Y-yes?"  
  
"You and your friends better double-check and make sure you have everything, we'll be docking in a few minutes." The entire group nodded and Ranma nodded back, walking casually through the bulkhead and walking down to the glass-walled sitting room. A hand-painted sign was hung above the door declaring that alcohol would not be sold until they were a mile off the coast. At the bar sat Misato with Ritsuko and Maya. "Good evening girls."  
  
"Can you believe it? They won't give me another beer 'cause we're too near the harbor!" Misato slurred from her stool, splaying her legs and parting her short dark mini-skirt in a very unlady-like fashion. Ritsuko pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head at the drunk woman's antics while Maya held a hand over her mouth to conceal her mirthful smile. Ranma noted that she was wearing black lace panties before righting her back on the stool and setting her head on the bar. "An I was just starting to get...a buzz..." She managed to mutter a few more incoherent groanings before falling under the power of booze.  
  
"Does this happen often?" Ranma prodded her to better balance the unconscious body on her stool, and sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her to steady her.  
  
"Only when she doesn't have to worry about work."  
  
"So work is what keeps her sober?" He shook his head in wonderment. "This woman never ceases to amaze me..." A loud horn sounded from the deck and the sputtering, crackled voice of the captain blared from the brass speakers.  
  
"Attention all passengers, this ferry will be docking shortly, please remember all packages and belongings. The Otohime Ferry Service will not be held responsible for any lost or forgotten articles. Thank you, we hope you have enjoyed your time aboard." The man's grunting voice faded from the air as Ritsuko and Maya waved happily at him before quickly making themselves scarce. By Misato's feet was her dufflebag. Ah well...  
  
---The long walk---  
  
They were nearing the top of the long stairs when Misato finally began to stir. Purple lashes fluttered open and were greeted by bleak darkness, she began to move before feeling the arms around her calves tighten in warning that too much movement could land her flat on her ass. She looked into the darkness before her eyes and saw nothing more or less than the dreary landscape.  
  
"What's the matter with you?" Ranma shook her slightly on his back. Looking back down into the blackness she realized that what she'd seen as night was simply his raven hair.  
  
"Why am I on your back?"  
  
"You passed out."  
  
"When?"  
  
"On the ferry...I'll set you down when we reach the top."  
  
"Why not now?" She looked at his arms and saw the multitude of bags piled in both of his hands, his fingers turning white as circulation was cut by her three bags and his two. "Nevermind."  
  
Kaji and Ritsuko were talking about NERV's public image while Maya followed, Makoto and Aoba were too busy peeking up Misato's skirt to care if they fell all the way down the stone stairs. Finally, Shinji and the other children were filing up slowly, Asuka bitching all the way about how long of a walk the hotel was from the ocean.  
  
"Why did you bring all this stuff?" Ranma raised one of his hands, gasping for breath as the movement put his baggage off balance which in turn caused slim but muscular arms to wrap around his neck. "...can't...breathe..."  
  
"Deal with it! Don't do that again!" She released her chokehold and grabbed his shoulders again, watching the light pour down from their intended destination. "I, being superior NERV personnel, have to bring equipment and supplies anywhere we go so that communications with HQ are secure."  
  
"Well, why wasn't I briefed on this?" He looked up at her face and found her head petulantly turned to the side.  
  
"You weren't told because I am still in charge of secure communications and our team's contact with headquarters. Just because _you_ took _my_ position doesn't mean that you have all of my duties. Commander Ikari asked me to relinquish command of Tactical Ops, not hand you all my responsibilities."  
  
"TouchŽ! We're almost there." The glow of the inn lights was growing as the stone stairs disappeared under their feet, the soft diffuse illumination accompanied by a steady staccato rhythm of flesh on flesh. "I see they haven't changed."  
  
The walk evaporated as the NERV group arrived at the top of the bluffs and beheld a massive and ancient hot springs inn, the wood burnished with age and smelling of generations worth of autumnal leaf-burnings. Misato almost leap off Ranma's back, kicking with her legs until he let her go and standing rather unsteadily in her high-heels. Ritsuko wasn't really impressed by the sight, she had seen many such buildings before Second Impact but the display of physical prowess taking place in front of the main doors did cause an eyebrow to rise. Aoba and Makoto were too exhausted to care about the display, collapsing under the weight of all the luggage and lying prone on the cobblestones. Shinji, Asuka, and the rest of the Children simply stared slack-jawed.  
  
There were two girls about fourteen sparring. That in and of itself was not surprising since Folun Dafa, Tai Chi, Tai Kwan Do, and Karate were still practiced amongst the youth not only for self-defense but also exercise. What surprised the group was the skill with which the duo fought, each strike echoing in the night air as bone met bone and muscles strained against their foe. The quick booms that accompanied their attacks were the girls' fists nearing the sound barrier as they lashed out at each other again and again.  
  
"What are they doing, Ranma?" Shinji asked as he walked over to Ranma's side. Asuka favored him with a superior snort of disgust.  
  
"They're sparring, Shinji, they're practicing the Musubetsu Kakuto Ryu."  
  
"What is that? What is the Musubetsu Kakuto Ryu?"  
  
"Nothing that concerns you baka-Shinji!" Asuka tore her arm away from Ranma's and took a step forward across Ranma's front to point a finger dangerously at the Third Child. "Why don't you just stand next to Misato? She's your guardian after all!"  
  
"Now, now, Asuka, don't jump down his throat." He turned to look down at the short boy as the girls leapt off the submerged boulders around the entrance to the inn. "Shinji, these girls are practicing Anything-Goes Martial Arts. It is a form of The Art where anything can be used as weapon or defense, as it sounds that makes the style very adaptable." Shinji looked up at Asuka's guardian from the red-head's finger, curiosity and awe evident in his face.  
  
Asuka frowned at being ignored.  
  
"C-can anyone learn it? I mean...that's not to say that I want to or anything, I just meant to ask if it required some kind of special training or something."  
  
"Ha ha! Don't worry about it Shinji, I understand perfectly. I can teach you if you like, Asuka already has the basics." Ranma patted him on the head and chuckled a little bit, changing Shinji's embarrassment into something more akin to na•vetŽ. The pig-tailed tactician turned back to his own charge. "Shall we?"  
  
"Mmm-hmm!" With that the two leapt into the fray, Asuka attacking the shorter, Ranma launching a volley of Amaguriken punches at the taller. Misato's shoulders were slumped in stupefaction, Ritsuko was observing the one-sided fight with scientific detachment, Maya and the rest of the bridge crew could have cared less, and Touji was wildly cheering Ranma on as the battle began in earnest.  
  
Satomi and Saya knew they were in trouble as Satomi was tackled out of mid-air without their danger senses giving the slightest indication of possible threats. When a taller figure landed opposite Saya, the duo knew they were facing warriors of consummate skill. In the humid blackness their attacker's faces were hidden and the clothes they wore were relatively nondescript, the man in a jumpsuit, the female a yellow sundress. Saya cursed as the man exploded into a burst of fists, his arms a blur as she felt her vital points hit with deadly efficiency. Satomi was bodily thrown over the girl's head and landed with a grunt on the gravel walk, the wind knocked out of her lungs in a single painful gasp.  
  
"I was expecting a little more of a fight than that, Saya-chan, have you been slacking off in your training?" The defeated girl's scowl of hate and disgust was quickly replaced by the glow of admiration and happiness as the tones of her sensei registered. It was pure luck that at that moment the inn lights blazed to life and illuminated the yard in hazy yellow light. The roguish good looks of her teacher came into focus as well as Asuka's face opposite Satomi's prone form.  
  
"Auntie Kasumi doesn't want us to push ourselves too hard so we only get a few hours a day for practice."  
  
"I'll have to have a word with your aunt before I leave." He turned as the main doors opened and two women appeared in the light, their silhouettes revealing thin and evenly proportional figures in thin yukata. "Good evening." He waved to them.  
  
Aoba and Makoto were already at the door with the bags before the twin shadows began to move, their gait light and purposeful as they crossed the distance of the yard and helped the two girls up off the ground. Misato, Ritsuko, and Maya saw that both were older women, although only by a few years, still devoid of wrinkles and elegant in their stance.  
  
"What have I told you about pushing yourself?" The taller woman was helping the diminutive redhead up off the walk. The girl, Satomi, had the good grace to look embarrassed at being reprimanded but a defiant fire burned behind her azure eyes. "Now go inside and get washed up."  
  
"Don't mother the girl, they're both tough enough to handle the next stage." Ranma walked past the shorter woman and grasped the other's arm. "If this is what they want you can't stop them."  
  
"I will not see my niece hurt because of your ideas concerning training, Ranma!" She wrenched her arm out of his grip and time stood still for a fraction of a second as his face showed a cast of betrayal against her cool anger. "Now you and your guests should come inside and get settled. Dinner will be ready in a half and hour." She turned and walked back inside, the crowd never getting the briefest of glimpses at her visage.  
  
"Saya," the other spoke, drawing all attention to her, "please take our guest's bags inside and show them to their rooms."  
  
"She didn't have to be so cold..." Ranma kicked a stone off the cliff.  
  
"And you don't have to act like a petulant child, Ranma, but you are; so get your ass inside." She turned her head back to the group of NERV workers and bowed. "I'm sorry for all this, my daughter and her cousin tend to get a little carried away."  
  
"Oh, it's no problem! Ranma gets carried away all the time! Usually by men in white coats!" Misato's eyes were flat in irritation. She grasped the sides of her red jacket and pulled it taut against her back. "I'm Captain Misato Katsuragi, pleased to meet you."  
  
"Nabiki Tendo. Glad to meet one of Ranma's co-workers."  
  
---Inside---  
  
"So, Saotome, is Nabiki the hot little number you've got stashed in this place?" Kaji was leaning behind the martial artist with a saucer of sake in his hand. "When do we get to meet this gorgeous 'wife' of yours?"  
  
"Hopefully never, Kaji, and lay off the sake until you learn to handle your liquor." Ranma jerked away and moved to the low table.  
  
"I have, or else I'd have told all the women about your hubby." A smile broke on the disheveled man's face, countered by a subtle shakiness in his step. "C'mon...just between men...who is she? Nabiki? The tall one, er, Kasumi?"  
  
"Just stop talking about it Kaji." The two men were sitting in the common room high above the beach overlooking the hot springs. The women had run off to change into yukata and use the restrooms, the children for much of the same, while Shigeru and Makoto took a well-deserved soak. The rooms were off of the main building and higher up the cliff, connected by a covered wooden bridge over the steaming water, one person per room except for the kids. Needless to say, Asuka was unhappy.  
  
---Elsewhere---  
  
"Who do you think? Nabiki or Kasumi?" Ritsuko chuckled as Misato's lipstick went horribly awry, the swath of luscious crimson cutting a line from the crook of her lips to a shapely ear. The good captain didn't explode however, and simply took a piece of tissue to begin wiping the stray mark off her cheek.  
  
"Wh-what do you mean?"  
  
"I mean, which one do you think Ranma is sleeping with?" Maya flushed the toilet in back of them and opened the stall door. "He is a healthy man...and those two seemed to be _overly_ familiar with him if you ask me."  
  
"I didn't see that, sempai, they just seemed like friends to me." Ibuki was drying her hands but looked up at her superior.  
  
"Poor na•ve Maya, you really don't get it do you?" Ritsuko closed her lipstick and placed a well-manicured hand on the lieutenant's shoulder. "Ranma is more than a 'friend' to one of those women." Misato's second attempt at applying her lipstick met with much the same result. "Isn't that right, Misato-chan?"  
  
"Oh shut up."  
  
---Inside---  
  
"Oh shut up." Ranma poured himself a cup of sake from the warmed bottle on the table, helping himself to the sliced okra on the side. "That's my own business Kaji, and my business is NERV business." He looked over his saucer at the other man and tried his best impersonation of Gendo, which, while it lacked the malice of the commander, was enough to close the double-agent's mouth with the clack of teeth.  
  
"I get it...you're doing both of them."  
  
Ranma simply sighed.  
  
---Outside---  
  
"This is pretty relaxing, isn't it Shigeru?"  
  
"It sure is."  
  
"Only thing better than this-"  
  
"Would be if the girls were here with us."  
  
---Elsewhere---  
  
"What the hell are you talking about!? My Ranma would never do anything with Nabiki-obasan or Kasumi-obasan!" Asuka kicked the other stall door open and stepped out fuming. "His family knew their family before Second Impact and they were the only two to survive...it makes perfect sense why they're so close." She crossed her arms haughtily and thrust her nose in the air.  
  
"You don't really believe that do you, Asuka?" Ritsuko pursed her lips at the mirror and patted them with a piece of paper. With a clack of metal her purse snapped shut and she turned to face the auburn-haired Child. "Ranma is more than familiar with both of them. In fact, I bet one of those girls we saw fighting outside is his daughter."  
  
"I think you've been reading too many romance novels, sempai."  
  
---???---  
  
"Oneesan, has Ranma truly returned?" The refined figure tossed back her hair and touched up the tight bun in back.  
  
"He just arrived, he and the other NERV people are in the common room." Kasumi looked up from her pot of broth. Cooks were bustling around her every which way running to finish the seven-course meal for their most distinguished guests. "Are you thinking of talking to him?"  
  
"That is the least of what I have in store." Her pink tongue lanced past the black lipstick her wore and licked the pigment so that it glistened under the fluorescent lights.  
  
---Inside, common room---  
  
"Why I bet one of those women is just waiting to pounce on you, Saotome. I mean, after so long away...a wife has urges too you know." Kaji was sitting by the window looking out into the moist evening. Ranma was again seated at the table chewing on a teriyaki squid. An empty bottle of sake lay on its side next to his saucer.  
  
"Why are you still talking?"  
  
"Because he could never keep his mouth shut." Misato threw open the doors and pranced in with her hair braided and curled into a bun in back, a pair of lacquered chop-sticks keeping the precarious style from unraveling. She sat down roughly at the table opposite Ranma and slammed her elbow down. "Pass the sake."  
  
In short order the others arrived, Maya, Ritsuko, and Asuka from the bathrooms; Shinji, Touji, Kensuke, Rei and Hikari from their room; and Makoto and Aoba from the hot springs. A few minutes passed before a knock was heard and cooks entered with three more tables, placing them end on end to make a long runner with enough room for fourteen people. Ranma seemed unimpressed. The others were astounded by the abundance of food placed before them, each steaming dish served on platters fit to serve ten, fourteen platters in all. Dishes were laid out with chopsticks and rice, sake was placed in a ceramic pot and set on a hotplate, and everyone left before Kasumi and Nabiki arrived.  
  
"You outdid yourself this time, oneesan, I think this is quadruple the amount of food you served him last time." Nabiki was garbed in a blue yukata with red koi, Kasumi in a solid plum.  
  
"Well, he did bring guests this time." Kasumi moved away from the door as the girls ran in wearing twin green and sat next to their sensei.  
  
"Did you bring us anything, sensei?" Saya tried to keep the excitement from her voice but failed as her ear-to-ear grin threatened to split her face, her black bangs hiding her mirthful eyes.  
  
"Yes, did you bring the chocolate?" Satomi was bouncing on her heels. Ranma looked like the most tortured man alive between the two Tendo girls as they played tug of war with his arms. Ritsuko hid her smile with a sleeve and reached for the sake. Kaji smiled past his cigarette by the window. Shinji, Kensuke and Touji were openly gawking at the beautiful girls their age while Hikari and Asuka tried to drill holes in their heads by sheer force of glaring will. Rei sneaked a bite of cabbage from one of the platters while no one was looking. Maya was eyeing the sashimi hungrily and the other two idiots were giggling inanely as they eyed the clay cauldron of sake by their end of the table.  
  
"Now, now, girls, I think there will be time for gifts after dinner, don't you agree?" A melodic voice wafted from the hall and a vision in full kimono appeared in the threshold, her glossy dark hair pulled into a bun and her brown eyes deep pools of privilege and opulence. She was dressed in an indigo cloth with black roses, the flower petals virtually lost in the expanse of dark fabric. "It is wonderful to see you again, Ranma-sama."  
  
Kodachi Kuno, the Black Rose, entered the fray.  
  
---To be continued--- 


	7. Chapter Seven

---Title---  
  
Evangelical History - Chapter 7  
A Ranma 1/2 - Evangelion fusion  
By Suekeiichi Kaiton  
(Skaiton@netscape.net)  
  
---Common room---  
  
After dinner was finished and the extra tables taken away, the group settled at all ends of the room for small talk and sake. The NERV group eyed the three older women that ran the inn curiously as if never imagining that Ranma would have close relations with a woman let alone the three gorgeous examples sitting quietly around him. Ritsuko and Misato were pouring sake for Makoto, Shigeru, and Kaji not out of dutiful feminine obedience but rather tradition. The pulsing vein on Ritsu's forehead bespoke of her irritation at the lowly position she was performing.  
  
"I trust you received the packages I sent ahead?" Ranma grinned and ruffled Satomi's hair.  
  
"Yes, thank you very much." Kasumi withdrew two small elegantly wrapped boxes from her sleeves and handed them to the girls. "And the chocolate arrived on time, just as you said."  
  
"I can't believe you got NERV to transport one hundred pounds of Belgian chocolate powder all the way out here just for us." Nabiki crossed her arms under her bust as he swallowed another saucer of sake. Misato's eyebrow rose, could it be that Ranma was diverting NERV resources for his own personal ends? Could she smell an incoming demotion in his future? "You even had the German pilot deliver it to our kitchen."  
  
"He was scheduled to deliver some equipment to Tokyo-3 so I just asked him to make a short stop-off in Okinawa. He owed me some money anyway..."  
  
Shinji, Touji, and Kensuke were already tipsy after only a few servings of sake, their eyes rolling endlessly in their heads as they forced themselves to stay sitting up - much to the disgust of Asuka and Hikari. Rei sat quietly at the end of the table eyeing a saucer filled with the liquor. She'd been like that for several minutes before Ritsuko and Maya appeared on either side of her head.  
  
"It's okay, Rei, we're celebrating! You can have some sake." Ritsuko smiled at the azure-haired pilot as she looked from the polymath genius to her assistant, both women wearing identical faces as they encouraged the introverted pilot to try something new. Hesitantly, Rei nodded her assent and sipped at the red lacquered dish.  
  
"Thanks, Ranma-sensei!" Satomi raised her slim arm to show off an exquisite silver bracelet with a sole carmine jewel that was embedded in the wrist. "It matches my hair!"  
  
"Thank you, Ranma-sensei." Saya eyed the antique earrings glittering with soft diamonds. "These earrings are absolutely beautiful." She looked over at her mother who only responded with a subtle nod.  
  
"Excuse me, Ranma-sama, but may I have a word with you in private?" Kodachi rose from her knees and padded quickly to the door, looking back with her hand on the screen waiting for him to follow. He rose and shook off the two girls and smiled at Nabiki and Kasumi before leaving the NERV group alone with the relics of his past.  
  
"So. How do you know Ranma?" Kasumi tapped Satomi on the shoulder to quiet her embarrassingly enthusiastic jumping about. "He simply called us this morning and told me to prepare for a large group. I had no idea that he would be bringing so many!"  
  
"He stole my job."  
  
"He stole my heart."  
  
"He stole my girlfriend." That particular comment earned the unshaven lout a sake bottle to the eye. "I mean my _ex_ girlfriend...yeah..." His nervous giggling didn't particularly fool anyone.  
  
"Oh my! Ranma always did have a strange way of meeting people."  
  
---Later---  
  
Shinji lay awake in the darkened room with his SDAT player blaring bad rap and gospel tunes into his head. His mouth twisted in disgust after only a few scant moments before his hands ripped open the portable player and tore out the mini-disk. 'VOX' his ass!  
  
It was kind of funny in a way, he had never thought about Ranma even possibly being married before...even if it was a sham. And to have kids to boot, Shinji began to laugh at the image of Ranma changing diapers. He had to stop after a few moments, if he didn't wipe his mind clear of that image he'd never be able to look Ranma in the eyes again.  
  
The older woman, Kasumi Tendo, didn't seem all that surprised by the stories Misato and Asuka told her, replying that Ranma always made friends and enemies in the same way. In the warm darkness of his corner, Shinji began to wonder just how much past Ranma was hiding from the rest of them, not that it particularly bothered him (they had only just met the other day) it just reminded him of his father.  
  
Touji had begun to snore across the room from him as Kensuke hugged a homemade plush Evangelion Unit 01 to his chest. Shinji rolled on his side and dropped the 'Hedgehog's Dilemma' SDAT into his player, cranking up the volume she he couldn't hear the roar of Touji's tonsils.  
  
Gendo Ikari, the name brought a bitter taste to his mouth. Sometimes he wished he knew more about his father and other times he wished they weren't related at all...he supposed that it was the same with all fathers and sons, except what son was abandoned at age five by their father? Shinji unconsciously began to growl. Touji batted away the curiously growling koala bears with pointy teeth and continued on his trek to slay the horrible red-haired, yellow-scaled dragon.  
  
Ikari looked up at the clear sky through the window and listened to the soft rustling of leaves down below, the gentle sway of the trees as an iridescent moon shone down on the beach. He wished that his entire life could be just like that moment, the summer night frozen forever in perfect memory. He pulled the buds from his ears and threw off the thin sheet, rising from the futon and padding softly over to the window. Smiling wistfully at his own foolish thoughts, Shinji seemed to grow older for just a moment, lines creasing his brow and his chocolate brown eyes mirrors of age-old wisdom and knowledge. The world was perfect in that quiet moment, the hum and noise of his two best friends (his first and only friends he mentally corrected) behind him, the future before him filled with opportunity and wonder. Then it was gone and he was Shinji Ikari, a fourteen-year old shmuck stuck with a bastard for a father and saddled with the worst job in the world. No, second worse, he amended as he imagined what Ranma must go through as Asuka's guardian.  
  
At the slight creak of wood outside in the narrow hall, Shinji perked up and crossed over, pulling the door open just a little to see what caused the phantom noise. He was quite surprised when Ranma appeared outside the girl's rooms.  
  
"Ranma? What are you doing up so late?"  
  
"I could ask you the same thing, Mister Ikari." Ranma turned to him and in the moonlight Shinji could clearly see black lipstick smeared all over his face. "But I won't tell if you won't...I just wanted to make sure Asuka got to sleep alright."  
  
"Wh-why wouldn't she?"  
  
"I usually tuck her in a night." Shinji suppressed a giggle. "Don't laugh! I take extreme pride to call her my 'daughter'." Ranma wiped a bit of lipstick off with a sleeve. "She's really a very sweet girl once you get past her arrogant, snooty shell."  
  
"I don't know about that...she sure beat the crap outta a gang yesterday morning...I find it hard to believe she's a fragile flower."  
  
"You're a really cynical kid, you know that?"  
  
"You try living my life." Ranma smiled knowingly. "What's so funny?"  
  
"Ask me some other time, Shinji, we'll compare fathers." The moment of silence seemed to stretch into infinity, the darkness adding a timeless, almost dreamlike quality to the conversation. "I will tell you one thing, Shinji, you shouldn't judge your father so harshly until you've walked in his shoes. He does everything on purpose...sometimes it's just hard to tell what the purpose is...I-" He stopped at Shinji's snarling face and the smile returned. "You'll understand someday, Shinji." He turned back towards his room. "Good night, Shinji."  
  
"Good night."  
  
---Across the hall---  
  
"...Misato...?" Ritsuko lay on her back in the warm darkness looking up at the ceiling. She heard the girl's door open just a hair before it became clear it was just Ranma. The blonde carefully moved away from Maya who lay curled by her side and turned her head in the direction of her college friend.  
  
"What is it? I'm trying to go to sleep."  
  
"Liar. You were lying there awake just waiting to see how long Ranma would take to screw Kodachi." The scientist fished her wrist-watch out from under her sheet. "Two hours...pretty good time. He should give Kaji a run for his money."  
  
"I'll say." The purple-haired woman sighed and rolled to meet her friend's eyes, the hazy blackness around them making full eye-contact impossible. Their talk took on the feeling of a dream as they spoke. "You don't suppose that any of us have a chance with him, do you?"  
  
"After what Nabiki told us after Kasumi and the girls left...nope. That's my response as a woman, my response as a scientist is that you, Maya, and I all have a 0.000001% chance of getting with him." Ritsuko combed her hand through dry strands of dyed hair.  
  
"You must like that number, Ritsu, wasn't that also the chance Shinji had when he first synchronized with Unit-01?"  
  
"It means we still have a good chance."  
  
Misato sighed and sat up, pulling the sheets with her until she sat with her back propped against the wall. Her eyes were looking out to the night. Ritsuko could barely make out the soft, shiny sliver of skin that formed her jagged scar in the faint moonlight cascading over the peaked roof of the inn.  
  
"You know...he seems to have taken quite a liking to you."  
  
"Are you kidding? Me with a guy like him? My superior of all people? Don't make me laugh."  
  
"You _were_ with Kaji for a long time..."  
  
"That was...that was just physical attraction." She was silhouetted in the pale light, her long hair falling like rivulets of silver down her perfectly toned back.  
  
"Really physical if you ask my opinion."  
  
"Well I didn't, did I?" Misato threw her head back and faced her colleague and friend then smiled wistfully. "Do you remember the time-"  
  
"I know exactly what you're thinking and yes I do remember that time but I don't particularly want to be reminded." Her hand was raised as if you ward off the offending words.  
  
"I couldn't get over the fact that you were a screamer."  
  
"Thank you, thank you very much Misato! Our conversation has probably worked its way into Ibuki's unconscious already so tomorrow when we go to the beach all I'll get is her breasts in my face."  
  
"Would you prefer Ranma's balls instead?"  
  
"As a matter of fact, yes I would. Or perhaps something a tad higher."  
  
"Ooh! The resident brain of NERV being risquŽ? Ha, ha, or should that be 'Ritsuko'?" She grinned impishly at her own jibe and pulled her bangs out of her eyes. "Seriously, and not being mathematical, do any of us stand a chance against those three? He even has kids for Christ's sake!"  
  
"I wouldn't worry about that much if I were you, if his distance and infrequent visits are any indication our temporary commander has moved on...but don't listen to me."  
  
"When do I ever?"  
  
---The next room---  
  
"So what do you think of him, Hikari?" Asuka sprang up out of her futon the moment the door closed, turning to her new-found friend with glee. "Isn't he just the best?"  
  
"Uh...sure, Asuka. He's great an' all but aren't you just a little worried? He has two daughters our age!" The brunette was garbed in 'Hello Kitty' pajamas and had her short hair in a bun at the back. "I really don't think he's right for you, Asuka."  
  
"Oh yeah, this coming from the girl with a crush on meat-head."  
  
"Hey! Touji is not a meat-head! He is a kind and caring person beneath his exterior, you should see the way he tries to help his little sister." Hikari was in Asuka's face before the red-head could move a muscle.  
  
"Excuse me."  
  
"Jeez, we're even hearing from the peanut gallery," Asuka muttered as the blue-haired pilot of EVA Unit-00 sat up. "What do you want, Wondergirl?" Asuka patted herself on the back for creating that derogative from nowhere. Rei's eyes hardened but otherwise remained the same.  
  
"Would you and class representative Horaki please keep your conversations quiet? I am trying to sleep."  
  
---The morning---  
  
"Good morning everyone? Did you sleep well?" Ranma was waiting for them in the common room when the group finished in the co-ed hot springs much to the chagrin of all. The three tables were back and covered with enough food to make up for the group's embarrassment. Nabiki and Kasumi were sitting to one side with the biggest grins imaginable on their faces. It was obvious what Ranma was up to the night before. Satomi and Saya sat on either end of the long spread.  
  
"Fine, I guess." Misato feigned indifference until she spotted more warm sake by the end of the feast, the slow bubbling telling her that the heat was just turned down. "Now this is what I call a breakfast!"  
  
"Figures..." Ritsuko and Maya strode in after the purple tactician, curiously enough arm in arm, and sat by Saya. "I would say good morning but it's clear you already had one."  
  
"Good morning, commander." Maya gave a cut bow and blushed as his mirthful crystal blue orbs met her eyes. "I slept very well, thank you for asking."  
  
"Morning everybody! Ready for fun in the sun?" Kaji arrived dressed in a blue yukata with a butt already drooping from his lip. He was quite obviously in high spirits after seeing so much female flesh so early in the morning.  
  
"Good morning commander." Rei intoned from behind the double-agent. The pilot of Unit-00 wore a light blue yukata that matched her hair, giving the effect that her tresses covered her body. She padded quietly inside and sat next to the pig-tailed martial artist, eyeing him quizzically.  
  
"Morning everybody." Touji and Kensuke arrived dressed in their normal clothes and sat next to Misato as the women began to drink her third sake bottle.  
  
"Good morning." Hikari entered dressed in purple and bowed before sitting surreptitiously by Touji's side.  
  
"Hello!" Makoto entered and pushed his glasses up before sitting next to Misato and Ritsuko. He was dressed in tan yukata with mangos embroidered on the sleeves. "Shigeru will be here in a minute, he just wanted to tune his guitar before breakfast." Sure enough, the errant systems technician arrived at that moment wearing a black yukata with a pineapple pattern.  
  
"Morning Ranma!" Asuka called as she threw open the doors with a blushing Shinji trapped by the neck of his yukata. She was wearing a yellow ensemble with a red hibiscus pattern and matching sash, Shinji seemed to be thrown into a powder-blue robe with a simple black sash. "I'm sorry I'm late but I tried to be nice and get this dweeb from his room for breakfast only to find him doing the most disgusting thing in his room!"  
  
"I really wasn't doing anything except getting dressed..." It wasn't his fault that seeing so much of Misato and Ritsuko had made him hard, he was a normal boy with normal hormones after all.  
  
"Don't worry about it Shinji," Ranma assured him with a hand and a smile, "I'm sure it couldn't be any worse than anything Asuka's done." He laughed and motioned for them to sit.  
  
"WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!?!?" Asuka screamed and caused Misato to spill a ceramic bottle of sake all over herself.  
  
"What/ What is it?" The reserve tactical commander pulled a gun from her cleavage and checked her corners.  
  
"WONDERGIRL STOLE MY SEAT!!!" The fiery half-German dashed to Ranma's side and bore down on her colleague, hands on hips. "How dare you! I always sit next to Ranma!"  
  
"You were not here and there was no marker, therefore I did not know. I will move." Rei stood and walked down the table a ways.  
  
"Damn right! I won't forget this!" Asuka had a vein bulging on her forehead the side of Ranma's fist.  
  
"Asuka?"  
  
"What!?"  
  
"Could you pass the soy?" She turned to find Shinji sitting next to Ranma already halfway into his plate of food. She crumpled to the floor and tucked her knees under the lip of the table, passing the soy sauce and admitting defeat...for the moment. She would have her revenge on Shinji and Rei both for that transgression. The others were quietly snickering at the Second Child as she giggled insanely and stewed at the end of the table.  
  
---To be continued---  
  
The secrets of Ranma's past and relationship with Nabiki, Kasumi, and Kodachi will be revealed slowly in the future chapters so for now you'll have to draw your own conclusions. Next time prepare for fun in the sun as the NERV employees try to have some fun in the sun before the next Angel attack.  
  
Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton  
SKaiton@netscape.net 


	8. Revision 91809 Chapter One

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion or Ranma ½ and all the rights are still in the hands of the appropriate copyright holders. Any original characters, however, are all mine.

Evangelical History

Rewrite 3 (or is it 4?)

By Suekeiichi Kaiton

.com

Author's Note:

Hello everyone and thank you for taking the time to slog through this rewrite. I acknowledge that many readers enjoyed the first draft and were confused and angered by my meandering story that truly went nowhere. There were a lot of things I wanted to accomplish with the original and the two rewrites thereafter, but I never really got to the juicy bits I wanted. A lot of the material ended up in 'One-Winged Angel or ½ the Heavens' and yes, I realize that I very seldom finish anything I start. Mainly this was due to the lack of preparation – I've never really planned how things would transpire in a literal sense, I usually just wrote what I wanted in order to piece together scenes I wanted to write. Know that this rewrite, however, has been planned several chapters ahead so all I really have to do is follow the schedule and write the material. I can't promise that I will finish but I do give anyone free reign to continue or branch off from this work. Just please let me know before you write anything.

This version of 'Evangelical History' will have little to do with the original idea aside from some stolen characters and situations. This is really just what I want to write at the moment. I hope someone here enjoys this and I thank you.

---Chapter One---

Gendo Ikari watched his wife's mentor through the Geofront's security cameras as the old man walked leisurely down to the secure holding area of Terminal Dogma. The secure area housed many weapons and technology that were by-products of the Evangelion generation process, the lab where Rei was born for example, as well as GEHIRN's entire hard file dump. From his lair at the apex of the pyramid in the centre of the Geofront's flat forested area the elder Ikari wove his webs of deceit and murder, looking down on the many employees of NERV and SEELE alike. Most were inconsequential to his ultimate goal save Rei, Shinji, Ritsuko Akagi, and, of course, Fuyutsuki.

This was what made his professor's weekly trips down to secure holding all the more worrying…

SEELE knew that there were secrets in the bowels of NERV to which they were not privy and frankly speaking they didn't care about the side projects of Evangelion generation – they only cared about threats to their timetable and goals. The collection of relics and unfinished project dead-ends in secure holding didn't so much as raise an eyebrow on the Committee. They believed that there was nothing down there that could possibly jeopardize their rule. Gendo knew simply because of that decision that they were all fools, even Kihl.

For there was something else safely hidden in secure holding under quadruple lock-and-key; something that perhaps SEELE didn't even realize they had missed in the shift from GEHIRN to NERV. That something, or more accurately, someone, was locked in a pressurized cell two floors up from Heaven's Gate. The individual was shackled with metal and technology to the cramped cell and had not seen true sunlight for nearly a decade. She was one of the dirtiest secrets Gendo kept from SEELE, and a finely honed instrument he had not needed to wield since Yui was…killed.

Fuyutsuki made the trip down every week on Saturday, his only day off each week, and stayed for several hours simply talking with the prisoner. She was allowed all the books and papers and instruments she requested but everything was confiscated after Fuyutsuki's weekly visit so she didn't get any ideas of rebellion or escape. A nerve gas was used to drive her to unconsciousness so that the guard could clear her room and replace everything fresh. Even a tool with no purpose could still be useful. The woman's writings had provided several innovations to Evangelion repair that Akagi believed dated back to GEHIRN. Still, SEELE's spies in the base would inevitably discover the prisoner and report back to their masters. That would be a problem.

When Fuyutsuki passed through the guardroom and entered the cell Gendo cut the feed. The old man would report anything important to him after his meeting. Ikari turned back to the reports on his desk and summoned Ritsuko to report on the repairs to Tokyo-3 after the Fifth Angel's destruction.

Kozou Fuyutsuki opened the door and sat down in his usual chair, a high-back leather affair the color of port wine. His drab maroon uniform blended almost perfectly with the leather grain. Crossing his legs he looked at the mountain of papers and dog-eared books strewn across the bare metal floor. If anything, she was certainly working hard on the problem…

"You're early today, professor. Not that I mind. I have some new calculations to run past you." The auburn-haired woman in a grey jumpsuit handed a stack of papers to him with the subtle clatter of her wrist shackles. "I've been looking over Dr. Akagi's notes on the cellular degeneration. Unstoppable necrosis is the end result."

Fuyutsuki glanced through the pencil scribbles and frowned. He'd come to the same conclusion. "Well I don't think Ikari will be particularly pleased with two pilots and two units rotting alive."

"Heh, unlike me, right? He seems perfectly happy to let me rot down here." The woman tossed her pencil across the desk and stood up, taking a moment to stretch and crack her spine back into alignment. "Still, I'm alive, aren't I?"

"There is that…but your notes here don't end with death."

"Hmm? Oh yes, I think he'll be very happy with this next bit. Turn the page."

"You can't be serious! You know he'll never agree to this!"

"I don't see that he has a choice. It's either this or Shinji and Rei both die. I know he doesn't care about Rei but losing Shinji would be very bad. Asuka still isn't scheduled for transfer for another few weeks, right?"

"But-"

The woman cut him off with a glare and pointed to her desk. "I've gone through every single scenario – without the MAGI's help mind you – and this is the only possibility that ends with both Evas and pilots surviving."

"But he will never allow it! You know that. He'd rather torture you than agree to this." He felt for the woman's plight, really he did, as heartless as he tried to act seeing one of his favorite students locked up for ten years tugged at his conscience every single day. That was the reason for his weekly visits and talks about everything happening aboveground.

"You can tell him he can try but I'd rather die than give him the answer. He knows that. It stays with me – unless he can find a replacement." She narrowed her eyes dangerously. "And we both know there's no one who can do this but me."

"But, Aya, you can't really think he'll just let you out!"

"Fine, professor, you go and run your tests with Ritsuko – hell, run my notes through the MAGI and I guarantee you won't find another alternative. It's my way or the highway. And I bet you Rokubungi's getting so nervous he'll leap at the chance to save his precious scenario."

Fuyutsuki sighed and folded the booklet of notes. This really wasn't what he'd wanted to do today; he'd had plans to run a few new hypotheses by her but this mess assured him not only a short visit but a long day discussing the proposal with Ikari. Pity really, he didn't have anyone else to talk shop with since…well, since before GEHIRN became NERV.

"I suppose that's it for our meeting this week, then?"

"Don't worry, Kozou, I'm sure we'll be able to talk again when he lets me out of here."

Fuyutsuki stood up and rapped on the metal door. The guard opened it within three seconds. "You seem very sure about this? How?"

Aya Ayanami smirked at her former teacher and buffed her nails against the thin fabric of her shirt.

"I've got him by the balls, professor. Show him the calculations and he'll know I do. He don't got no choice."

Wrinkling his nose with distaste at the common-sounding turn of phrase Fuyutsuki left the cell and began the laborious trek back up to Gendo's lair.

Looking through the notes again on his way up the main escalator through the public entry area he had to admit there didn't seem to be any other way to save the pilots or Evangelions. He knew that Gendo valued the Evas more than their pilots but as a former teacher and Yui's friend he couldn't turn a blind eye to the suffering of Shinji and Rei. The burns from the Fifth's particle beam were steadily getting worse – the result of high synch ratios and Angelic contamination during Operation Yashima. What began as tender burns quickly became oozing sores on both humans and Evangelions that necessitated the hospitalization of the pilots. With the Second Child still in Germany and the Fourth an unknown the city was defenseless if the next Angel attacked. There didn't seem to be any choice.

He stopped by Dr. Akagi's office on his way back to run the numbers before presenting the plan but found the room empty. A message from the Commander still hung atop the desk's holographic display. Probably another meeting about the problem. That seemed to be all they were doing – chasing their tails trying to solve an impossible problem when the answer was calmly sitting with that self-satisfied smirk down in the depths. Well, he reasoned, there wasn't any way to stall the inevitable now – he'd just have to bite the bullet and present the calculations to Ikari and Akagi at the same time. Maybe with Ritsuko's help he could convince the commander to free his prized prisoner.

He appeared via the personal lift from his own office in the dark expansive room at the top of Central Dogma while Dr. Akagi was reviewing the situation for the thousandth time that week. Just as he thought there hadn't been an epiphany yet, no hope, no cure, no plan yet. Perhaps Ayanami was right, perhaps Gendo would let her free in order to save his precious scenario…

"Ah, Fuyutsuki, we were just discussing The Problem. Your thoughts?" And by that he really meant Ayanami's take on the situation.

"I do have some new thoughts on the matter, Ikari, but it would require some equipment from secure holding." Kozou handed the notes to Gendo who flipped slowly through the thin pages. A slight tightening around the eyes was the only visible sign of his anger and fear but his mentor caught it all the same, inwardly chuckling that Ayanami was still able to rankle the man despite being imprisoned.

"Dr. Akagi, will this work?" Gendo slid the papers across the front of his desk and the blonde picked them up gingerly, as if afraid of what was written. She could feel the tension in the air.

Ritsuko Akagi was not a woman easily impressed or surprised. She lived her life with complacent foreknowledge of basic events: wake up, work, eat, drink, deal with Angel attacks, maintain the MAGI, have a tryst with Gendo, and finally go to sleep. She didn't deal with impossible situations very well which made her irritated with the current crisis. All her knowledge of Project E and the Evangelion's unique biological states gave her not one single clue to reverse the damage slowly eating away at the biomechanical weapons or pilots.

What she saw on the paper was impossible. Yet the calculations were sound.

"This would work if we could make it happen but it would take months-years to program something with this kind of biological sophistication. The pilots don't have that long."

Gendo leaned back in his chair. "But it would work."

"Yes. I won't make any guarantees until I run the numbers through the MAGI but it could work." She looked at the sub-commander with new respect. "Did you come up with this on your own? This is brilliant!"

"I wish I could take all the credit, Dr. Akagi, but no. I didn't come up with the plan or write those calculations. An old student of mine came up with that. I've been discussing the problem with her for the past weeks and she tried to do what she could."

"Well, your student should come work with us. This is…breathtaking! I wouldn't have even thought to solve the problem with biometrics and invasive ego manipulation." She decided not to address the problem of discussing NERV business with civilians since this was the sub-commander they were talking about. That and Gendo didn't seem too worried about an outsider helping them – probably knew the woman as well.

"Fuyutsuki-sensei, have this student come here to assist us. I want her here today. Spare no expense." Gendo glared at his mentor and flicked his freezing gaze on Ritsuko. "Dr. Akagi, you will assist this woman with anything she may require. Unit-01 and Rei are your top priorities."

Fuyutsuki sighed. Yes, Gendo was becoming more and more heartless the further his plans reached. Yui simply won't forgive him when the time comes, and he won't have anyone to blame but himself. Perhaps he himself should take more of an interest in Yui's son…

"I'll call her right now…she can probably get here in a few hours."

"Good. See to it. Dr. Akagi prepare the pilots and Evas for the procedure."

Ritsuko knew there was something going on behind the scenes but didn't feel brave enough to inquire about just what it was, so she saluted and walked briskly out of the office.

"Are you sure about this? You locked her up because you couldn't trust her."

"I know that. But desperate times make for strange bedfellows, professor; you should know that better than most." Gendo stood up and turned to the wide bank of windows behind his desk. "She is a dangerous element, Fuyutsuki, but I believe I have the leverage to keep her in line for the time being. Free her and brief her. No one is to know she's been kept here. She is simply an old colleague that left GEHIRN before its dissolution."

"What if she tries to tell? What if she attacks you? You know what a loose cannon she can be!"

"I will handle those problems if they occur, professor, for now I hold enough cards to see her hand."

Aya Ayanami listened to her teacher's words and understood exactly what Gendo was thinking. What really got her panties in a bunch was the fact he was right: he did have the right leverage to ensure her cooperation. But we'd just see how long he could control her once the ball began rolling. She accepted the new clothing and ID card along with her old pair of fake glasses and file of notes Gendo had been systematically stealing from her cell for the past decade. Well, time to see if she still had it or if the years of seclusion had dulled her abilities to nothingness.

"How do I look, sensei?" She twirled around and smoothed out her brown skirt. "Is it me?"

"Well, it's certainly a refreshing change from the grey. Are you sure about this? You realize if he even thinks you're plotting against him he'll have you killed."

"Feh, he wouldn't be the first to try and he probably won't be the last. Better men than him have tried, though, and I'm still here." She patted the older man on the shoulder and walked out of the cell for the first time in nearly five years. "Don't worry your pretty little head, sensei; I'll be good for now."

"What about Rei? How are you going to explain yourself?" The guard saluted the pair as they walked through secure holding back to the elevator.

"She knows what she is, right? I'll probably just tell her the truth."

"Probably?"

"It depends on whether I save them both anyway, right? We can sweat the details afterward."

Fuyutsuki's face went white. "What do you mean if you save them? You don't know if you can?"

"Don't worry; if I fail he'll just kill me, right? Better than staying a caged rat for the rest of my life."

The rest of the trip up through the main shaft to Central Dogma passed in silence. Aya thinking about the wonderful foods she would eat once she got topside, Fuyutsuki imagining all the horrible ways Gendo was going to have her killed. Most NERV personnel were in the city overseeing the repairs to the fortress or trying to figure out how to clear away the Fifth Angel's remains. As such they encountered only two other technicians on their way to Dr. Akagi's office.

"Did you ever meet Ritsuko, Aya? She worked for GEHIRN around the time Rei was born." It surprised him that he'd ever asked her that question before but it was probably because the idea that Aya would ever escape her cell and actually meet the younger Dr. Akagi was more than a little preposterous. Now however…

"Naoko spoke of her often enough but no, I never met her before." Aya eyed the corridors and promenades with unabashed curiosity, the base had certainly changed since GEHIRN. "So I used to work for GEHIRN but left for Germany before it became NERV, right? Does that mean I can't talk about my old work?"

"I would think it'd be safe but don't talk too much about Yui or Naoko, you don't want to run around giving Ikari a reason."

"As if he would dare."

As the unlikely pair approached the closed steel security door to Dr. Ritsuko Akagi's office, inside the good doctor eyed her fidgeting college friend impatiently waiting on the couch. Misato Katsuragi had an impatient streak a mile wide that made her career decision to tactical operations all the more mystifying since strategy was itself a game of patience and time. The purple-haired woman bit her thumbnail for the twelfth time and stood up, pacing back and forth twice before sitting back down.

"Would you please just stop that," Ritsuko finally snapped, "I understand your impatience but if you can't keep it under control take it somewhere else."

"So what do we know about this person?" Misato wasn't going to allow some random stranger to fiddling around with her young charge just for the hell of it…even if it was one of the vice-commander's associates. "Name? Age? Do we know anything about her?"

"Nothing yet. We'll just have to find out when they arrive." Ritsuko finished the MAGI's subroutine and closed her terminal. Despite the commander's decision and Fuyutsuki's usually impeccable record with students (Gendo didn't count because the elder man had never actually taught him) she still smelled something fishy about the situation. Maybe it was the rapid response from Ikari, maybe it was the calculations accurate to the 100th decimal point that seemingly appeared from thin air, but something was wrong with the quick arrival of their 'guest.' Even if the person lived in Tokyo-3 it took up to two days for security clearance from Section Two and Internal Security. "What does your finely-honed sense of smell detect about all this?"

"It stinks. This person just happens to have the answers to all our problems, problems, mind you, that even you couldn't solve, and she's living here in our backyard? It's a little too convenient." Misato bit her thumbnail again. "There's something going on here."

"I've thought the same thing. Wanna put our heads together on this one?"

"Maybe after Shinji-kun's better."

The door chime put an abrupt halt to their conversation.

"Come in."

The door slide open to reveal the vice-commander and an attractive woman in her late twenties-early thirties with auburn hair and a very…generous bust barely constrained by a white button-up blouse. Ritsuko had to hand it to Fuyutsuki; he certainly picked the beautiful students. Except for Gendo of course.

"Dr. Akagi, Captain Katsuragi, I'd like you to meet Aya Ayanami – formally of GEHIRN." Kozou held back a grin at the wide eyes and dropped jaws. This was certainly going to rankle Ikari. "Aya, this is the director of tactical operations," he gestured to Misato, "and the head of development."

"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Aya bowed low and looked at the younger Akagi. Yes, there was a definite resemblance once she saw through the dyed blonde hair and bright red lipstick. She briefly remembered seeing a photograph of Ritsuko and Naoko, with the former in her natural red hair color. "I understand that time is of the essence, where are the pilots?"

"Uh…" Misato always was the more eloquent of the two and she demonstrated it by staring blankly at the woman then turning to the blonde. "Ritsu! Are you gonna ask or should I?"

"Um," the scientist cleared her throat, "are you any relation to Rei Ayanami, the First Child?"

Aya smirked and turned to Fuyutsuki with a look that virtually asked 'you didn't tell them?' before pole-axing the pair with a determined stare. "Yes, Dr. Akagi, I am Rei's mother. Now where is she? If the cellular degeneration has reached the third stage of ego contamination we don't have a moment to waste."

"Of-of course, I'm sorry, follow me."

The walk from her office to the medical ward First Cranial Nerve felt like it took an eternity with the scientist feeling like a toy soldier walking awkwardly in the aftermath of a revelation that tore her carefully constructed worldview to shreds. Misato looked equally unnerved, casting suspicious looks at the strange red-head and Fuyutsuki's back as the pair walked ahead.

There was no possible way that this new woman, this Aya, could be Rei's mother. Rei was an artificially created humanoid clone taken from samples of Lilith and Yui Ikari, she wasn't conceived, she didn't gestate, and she certainly wasn't born in the traditional sense. She was grown in the birthing tubes one floor up from Heaven's Gate in the Chamber of Grahf there just wasn't any way this new woman could be the mother. Was she delusional? Did she suffer a similar breakdown to Kyoko Sohryu and saw the blue-haired pilot as her 'daughter'? If the vice-commander knew the answers he gave no outward sign of sharing them, nor did he seem especially guarded around her – in fact, he seemed more at ease.

"Ritsu, whaddya think about this?" Misato leaned over and whispered through her hair. "Maybe she's the reason Rei has no records? A top scientist leaving GEHIRN would be a bad image so they erased all documents?" The theory didn't really make any sense considering the fact that everyone who worked for GEHIRN went right over to NERV when the MAGI went online except the people who died. One lone scientist, apparently an expert in her field, and the mother of one of the Children leaving the organization to live in Germany? None of it made any sense. She'd do some digging through outside channels and contact the German branch just in case anyone there knew about Aya Ayanami.

"No, I'm sure she was with GEHIRN, not with me but maybe during the development of the MAGI. I remember…something about her, the commander said something…I can't quite remember what it was." Ritsuko frowned. It wasn't like her to forget crucial information. She'd been with her mother, then, and-and Rei! It was when they were first introduced to Rei. "The commander said he was taking care of a child of a colleague."

"Humph…he would say something like that." Aya stopped in front of the pilot's room. "I'll go in alone for now. If I need you, I'll call."

"Now wait just a minute! We can't just-"

"Captain Katsuragi," Fuyutsuki interrupted, "Dr. Ayanami is perfectly capable of examining the pilots alone. She can't possibly make things any worse than they already are." The purple-haired woman shut her mouth with a muted click. Ritsuko simply nodded dumbly. They would certainly be observing through the observation window if the stranger did anything untoward.

As the three NERV officers shuffled into the viewing room on the other side of the wall, Aya took a deep breath and opened the door.

Processed air, redolent with the sour-sweet stink of decay splashed across her face and she barely held back a violent spasm of vomit. The room glowed white with sterility and the rays of artificial sunlight seeping through the tinted glass window behind the two pilots' beds. Shinji lay in the left and Rei on the right, both hooked up to breathing apparatus and life monitors. Neither showed real signs of breathing, only the barest inflation before a soft wheeze. Two morphine drips trickled steadily beside both beds which accounted for the children's comfort and lack of agonizing screams as they rotted alive. A lone nurse adjusting the IVs looked up at her entrance.

"Get out." The girl started to open her mouth in protest before Aya crossed the distance between them in an instant, pushing herself into the girl's face. "Get out now."

The nurse wisely decided to leave.

"Good afternoon, Shinji Ikari, Rei, I know you can't hear me at the moment but I'm here to help you." She switched off the monitors and IVs but left the respirators running. They weren't capable of breathing on their own…yet.

Next she pulled the sheets off both pilots and let them fall to the floor. Because of the complex cleaning needed every hour the children were naked with thick gauze pads wrapped tightly against the crawling blackness spreading across their bodies. Both had thin tubes running from catheters to collection bags hooked to the sideboards of each bed. Aya idly observed that there was blood in their urine. That wasn't good under the best of circumstances but now that meant their bodies were feeding on themselves – recognizing healthy tissue along with decaying.

"Now, Fuyutsuki-sensei, Dr. Akagi, Captain Katsuragi are you ready for a magic show?" She turned to the mirrored wall and cocked her head to the side. "Can you hear me in there?"

"Yes we can hear you fine! Just get on with it!" Misato snapped and threw the microphone to the floor. "What the hell does this broad think she's doing?"

"One thing you'll have to get used to is Dr. Ayanami's odd sense of humor." Fuyutsuki sat back in his plastic folding chair and crossed his arms with a smile. His two subordinates were in for a show.

"Nothing up my sleeves, ladies, and nothing hidden down my blouse." Aya wiggled her fingers. "Ready…set…go!"

At first Ritsuko thought it was some elaborate joke as the woman placed a hand on Rei's stomach below the navel. Nothing was happening. Then Aya placed her other hand on Shinji's stomach in the same place and closed her eyes.

"There's nasty ego contamination from the Angel…it's coursing through the pilots' veins and corrupting their nerve linkages, much like it is in the Evas. The contamination is spreading from Rei's chest and Shinji's hands; does that match the pattern of necrosis on Units One and Zero?"

"Yes," Ritsuko replied, "but we already know all that. What do you need to cure them? We don't have enough time to work out an ego restoration system, they could die from this in the next few days and a complex system like that could take months to build!"

"Didn't I tell you there was a magic show?" Aya grinned as soft blue light erupted from her hands and enveloped the children. "Who needs machines, Dr. Akagi, when you've got me?"

Two out of the three on the other side of the mirrored window slammed their hands down on the plywood table between them as the same blue covered the elder Ayanami as she moved her fingers across the necrotic tissue with the dexterity and casual purpose of a concert pianist. Trails of blue light diffused into skin, spreading under the blackened skin like a tidal wave until the gangrenous flesh regained normal pallor. Aya held her smile as she went about her work, changing and repairing the basic flows of life energy in Shinji and Rei back to their normal states – in much the same way that farmers divert larger rivers for irrigation.

Fuyutsuki shook his head, knowing that the beast was free again to play havoc with the best laid plans of mice and men. SEELE never really understood Aya Ayanami, nor did they place enough importance on her – which was their own fault when it came right down to it – so what was coming would be an enormous surprise for Chairman Kihl and the Committee. Deep in some bitter alcove of his mind came the thought that perhaps Ikari had be right in imprisoning her all those years ago, that she presented a distinct liability to the scenario, but he quickly squashed the idea. It was preposterous. Aya Ayanami had always played fair and tried to help…whether the people she was helping saw it that way or not.

He hoped Gendo knew the Pandora's Box he'd decided to open. Knowing his former student like he did there was a mess of revenge waiting to fall upon the elder Ikari's head.

"What the hell is going on?" Misato was torn between pulling her sidearm and shooting the Angel invader or rushing in to check on her charge. "How the fuck is she doing that?!"

Ritsuko ran her fingers through the dry roots of her blonde hair. "This shouldn't even be possible! No one can manipulate ego borders like this! Vice-commander! I demand an explanation!"

"Dr. Ayanami was one of my finest students although not as versed in mathematics or theories, she was a storehouse of esoteric knowledge pertaining to the human body – all learned first hand from years of training in the martial arts. When I joined GEHIRN I asked her to come because we needed help constructing the egos for the Evangelions as well as the destrudo protocols. Since the Evas are similar in many ways to humans her knowledge proved invaluable." Fuyutsuki stood up once it appeared Ayanami was finished and opened the door. "She also helped your mother create the greyware systems."

"But no one should be able to manipulate another person's ego; it goes against all our findings on AT Fields and pattern recognition!"

"However, you have just witnessed that it is possible. Your task now is to discover how it is possible and try to replicate it so this kind of life-and-death situation doesn't repeat itself, do I make myself clear?" He slipped effortlessly into 'command' mode to forestall more conversations about Ayanami. The less Akagi and Katsuragi knew about the new doctor the better off they'd be…although the same could be said of Gendo as well. "I think you should check on the pilots, Dr. Akagi."

Back in the room, Aya reigned in her energies and fell to the floor in a swoon once pink returned to the children's skin. That'd been a lot more work than she'd thought although a lot of that probably had to do with her lack of practice in the last ten years. It felt good to release her ki again after those nasty shackles and dampeners in her cell. Glancing quickly around she willed a transparent crescent blade into existence bare millimeters from her fingertips and sent it through the catheter tube on Rei's bed, cutting not only the rubbery plastic but also the metal frame and three inches of mattress. There were some things you never forgot.

"When will the repairs be complete?" Gendo steepled his fingers and glared balefully across his desk at the three women. Fuyutsuki vainly attempted to hold back his chuckling from the chair beside the desk.

"Once the tissue has finished regenerating we can repair the armor plating. The MAGI predict that in-"

"Give them three more hours to heal and you'll have your precious toys back, Gendo."

Maya brought her clipboard up to cover her incredulous expression as the newcomer interrupted her sempai and had the audacity to speak to Commander Ikari in such familiar forms. "Uh, Dr. Ayanami's data correlates with the MAGI's predictions. Three more hours of growth will ensure a safety layer of material for the armor to 'root' on; the actual process itself will take another two hours."

"Thank you Dr. Akagi, Lt. Ibuki, you may go now." Ritsuko gingerly stepped back and turned to the door before realizing Maya was still standing frozen beside Aya, staring at the older woman with equal parts fear and admiration. A sharp pinch to her arm popped the young tech's bubble and she blushed before quickly scampering out of the office. Ritsuko eyed her new colleague for a moment longer before she too left the room.

"So Rokubungi, let's talk shop now, shall we?" It would be easy enough to use a vacuum blade and cut him down where he sat like the insufferable boil he was but after a decade in cold storage she wanted to live a little longer. "What in the name of God have you been doing to my little girl?!"

"Rei was chosen to be a pilot and I personally oversaw her training." Gendo leaned back and folded his hands on his lap. "I don't see any need to justify my actions to you."

"That's my daughter you're talking about," Aya growled, "and I don't think that indoctrinating her into a self-sacrificing lifestyle to suit you twisted scenario constitutes good parental care!"

"I am not concerned with being a parent, Dr. Ayanami; I'm concerned with defeating the Angels. Rei fulfills her purposes without question; that is enough."

Aya frowned. Gendo clearly thought he had the upper hand and to a certain extent he did, but he was overlooking a lot of other problems right under his nose. Take away his pawns and his game would crumble. Rei was clearly his king-side bishop with Ritsuko as his knight. Well, she would play by his rules for a little while – long enough to even the playing field.

"If I'm going to stick around and help your sorry ass, Gendo, I want the same salary I was making at GEHIRN; ten years back pay, an apartment aboveground, and custody of Rei."

Fuyutsuki leapt out of his chair. "Now wait just a moment-"

"No. Your salary will be of a lieutenant technician such as Ms. Ibuki, you will receive no back pay, you will be furnished with lodgings in the same unit as Captain Katsuragi, and guardianship of Rei remains with me."

"What makes you think I'll agree to that?"

"You will agree. The 'object' is still in my keeping." His redundant tinted lenses flashed briefly with reflected light.

That hit her like a berserker Evangelion. He had it! He still had it! She'd given up hope the last ten years and even made peace with it but then to have it dangling before her like the proverbial carrot…damn. Rokubungi didn't have all the cards but he had the one that mattered.

"…very well…" With that, Aya walked out.

Kozou stood up and turned to the window after the echo of her footfalls faded into the rumbling dull white noise emanating from the Systema Sephirothicum etched into the floor. "I can't say I understand this game you're playing, Ikari, but it seems like you're taking too many risks."

"The risks are necessary, professor, as is Dr. Ayanami's presence on the staff now that the Angels have begun contamination tactics."

"So you really didn't have a choice."

"The loss of the Third was not acceptable. We have no backup and the loss of two Evangelions would demand the Committee's personal attentions. We can't afford that level of scrutiny this early."

Still, there were things moving beyond his control and Ayanami was a wild-card in the whole mix. If she posed a threat he would have to eliminate her. But for the moment she still had her uses…that was enough.

---To be continued---


End file.
